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Is It Possible For A Woman to Be Married, Cohabit, And Stay Single?

Aug 17, 2007
We tend to think in absolutes when it comes to relationships. If you're married, you cohabit and if you cohabit you lose the perks of being single.

Most of us don't know anyone in Hollywood, so we usually don't meet people who live on opposite sides of the country and own a string of houses in between. That's one way to be married and single at the same time but it pretty much kills most of the warm, fuzzy stuff we expect to be a part of cohabitation.

A lot has been said and written about women who lose their identity when suffering a terminal attack of "Here Comes The Bride." And of course, we have also been exposed to the woes of the new breed of men often referred to as "Mr. Mom." But again, these stereotypes are not what this article is about.

Since we are talking about women here, we also have to pass on the guy who gets to have it all. He's married with all of the benefits of a, (hopefully), sexy, live-in domestic, yet he also controls the money, plays poker and golf with is buddies and, more often than not, travels alone.

So, here we are looking at a brand new prototype, the woman who wants and enjoys a life partner, is deeply loyal to him but who, in fact, is her own woman at the same time. Whether she keeps her maiden name, hyphenates a new combination of names, or opts for the "Mrs." handle...she is pleasantly, if not fiercely, independent.

Our gal is deeply considerate of her husband without needing to defer to him. She can and does buy her own car without consultation. She goes on vacations at times, but not always, alone or with women friends. She doesn't necessarily have to have a huge house, but she does have one where she had her own room. It's off-limits. Her guy may have also his own and they may or may not share a common bedroom. The point is that she has privacy. She can and does read, work, meditate or whatever behind closed doors.

In the process she retains her individuality. Her guy is also a good friend and she keeps her distance from the merry, little band that sees husbands as the enemy. She may want to retain her financial independence or they may co-mingle funds...but she is not "less than", ever. Her interests are often not those of her spouse, but they could be. She listens to her own drummer.

As this new breed comes forth, we are seeing men who really appreciate them. Men who don't need another mother and who don't want to be master of all they survey, including the "little woman." Kids who are raised in such an environment get a shot at role models that offer a new choice...breathing room for all adults. Ahhh...
About the Author
Luise Volta's life has included careers in nursing, teaching pre-school, interior design, Real Estate sales, insurance adjusting, and dairy herd testing. Visit for Relationship Problem Advice.
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