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Getting Over the Woman Who Left or How to Get Back on Your Feet!

Jun 10, 2008
Every guy has a period in his life when that woman that you thought was "the One" decided you weren't and left you. This is probably one of the worst feelings you can experience and it leaves you feeling devastated.... no self esteem... and very lonely. Aside from the obvious, what make s you feel this way?

Well, inadvertently you have given her power over you. After you're in a relationship for a while, you tend to start basing your self-worth on the words or deeds your girlfriend/wife/lover has been showering you with. As long as they felt good with you, you felt good! The real problem is that because the woman you based your self-worth on has now rejected you! Along with her, your self worth and happiness goes as well! Pining away for her or chasing after her trying to get her back serves nothing but to worsen your situation from the multiple rejections. You have given her your POWER! Now you MUST get it back to move on!

Having been there (and done that) a couple times, (I don't consider my self an expert by any means) I would like to share with you a few tricks that helped me through the hard times!

First - When she leaves - cut her out of your life! Don't talk to her! Don't read her emails! Don't read her Text Messages! Do not respond to her in anyway! It will be hard at first, but after a period of time this will become easier. The only exception to this rule is if you have some legal issue to iron out (child support, possession of the car, etc.). When you MUST make contact, keep it brief, don't argue, no "honeys" or "dears" and stay on subject. The more impersonal you are the better!

Second - Drop the mutual friends you made during the relationship. Remember I said MUTUAL friends. If they are YOUR friends keep them around (unless they are being negative because of the breakup) and hang out with them. Try to be alone as little as possible. It's hard to think about someone else when your friend just cracked a good joke!

Third - If she left anything at your place that may bring her back to collect it, do NOT wait for her to contact you! Take your POWER back and put everything in a box. Here you have 2 choices here -

Write a note... Something like "here's the stuff you left at my place" and leave it at her front door. Just remember to ring the bell/knock and WALK AWAY! Do not stay to chat or "just for a cup of coffee." If you do this, you will be undoing all that you have done so far.

The second option is to put the note inside the box and MAIL it back. This is my preferred method as there is no chance of meeting her. It's funny that when you deliver the goodies is such an impersonal way; it will often put her on edge... She thought she had power over you and now, you seem to have flaunted it in her face by rejecting HER!

Forth - Do NOT sit at home alone! If you have room mates, that's fine but what I would suggest is going out and meet new people! Meet as many women as you can! Ask them to dance, strike up a conversation and enjoy yourself! For each woman you meet, for each new friend you make or phone number you get - your self esteem will improve by just a little bit. Before long, you'll feel like the guy you used to know!

Five - and most importantly - Remember that the best revenge is living well! I'll never forget how it felt when my ex left me for someone that had more money and "stuff" than I had. I ran into her about a year later and I was making twice what he did and living in a new house! She about died when I told her this and she seemed to get angry... not at me! AT HERSELF! She had missed the gravy train and I was the conductor! I bet he got an earful THAT Night!

What I am trying to say here is that, you need to do things that make YOU happy! If it gets back to her somehow that you are doing better than fine, all that much the better, but do it for YOU! Take your power back and live your life as if the relationship had never happened!

I sincerely hope this has helped you in some way during your time of crisis. But please do remember these 5 rules and you will recover far easier and faster than you thought you could! Take care, be safe and Live Well!!
About the Author
Don Willson is a 53-year-old man living in Virginia. He enjoys writing and helping others in matters of the heart! Hobbies are computers, movies, his cat and music of just about any type. Click Here to find more resources and help in the dating scene! Of all the things I've lost in life I miss my mind the most!
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