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Turn A Friend Into A Lover

Jun 11, 2008
Maybe one of the most common questions guys have is how to turn a friend into a lover. Unfortunately many men have girls who are plutonic friends only because they have failed or have been too afraid to take it to a romantic level.

There are a few inconvenient truths about this scenario you should know right off the bat. The first is the longer you have been "just friends" the more unlikely it is that you can make her a lover.

Another truth is that your plutonic lady friend knows you want her but plays the friends card anyway. Women are very socially intelligent and usually know exactly were you and they stand.

The third and final unsavory truth is if you want to turn a friend into a lover you must be willing to risk the relationship all together. There is a possibility of being rejected and feeling too awkward afterwards to be close friends as before. The other possibility is that she does become your lover but if the relationship doesn't work out the friendship could be over as well.

Now that I have bummed you all out lets talk about the good stuff! The very special and different girl you adore will respond to the same things other women like. Your attitude actions and life have to be one of a confident and desirable man. I know you think that this girl is different but she isn't, she will respond to confidence, humor, success, and social intelligence just like any other women.

The first step is stop talking to her like a friend. Don't "vent" your problems to her, or talk about boring crap like work! Start using some cocky humor around her. You should flirt and give her a hard time just as you would a totally new women your interested in. In fact you can often have better "game" with a women your already comfortable around.

Now that your interaction can take on new life that actually has a chance of creating chemistry and sexual tension you have to change where you interact. You should start doing more things one on one. Try just grabbing coffee or drinks, taking a walk or grabbing a bite to eat together. You will notice I have mentioned all these ideas in a very casual light and so should you. You don"t want to seem creepy or needy all of a sudden! You want to be casual and confident when you invite her to do these things with you, like it is no big deal.

Doing things alone with you is a good step but always remember not to call her too often. Once a week is a good amount. Twice a week is ok on a rare occasion. When you do see her, talk in detail about the women are currently dating. She will be able to see that you are desirable, and it gives her the chance to feel jealous. It is also a chance to show that you are a good lover by talking casually about it with her.

By now you should see that creating attraction with a friend is the same as with new women in your life. You need to stop acting like a plutonic friend and start acting like a confident, desirable man. Just remember the risks you are assuming and make sure it is worth risking the relationship for. Often times it is better to remain friends and move on to other women. In fact I would challenge you to go out and date or sleep with ten other women, then see if she is still the one you must have.
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