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The Rules of Dating Within Your Social Circle

Jun 11, 2008
Many guys find themselves being introduced to new people through mutual friends or coworkers all the time. But what if you happen to come across an attractive, interesting woman you may want to date within your social circle? How should you approach building attraction and a connection with this girl, and what are the risks and rewards?

Your social circle is not just good friends and coworkers you see every day. Your social circle also consists of acquaintances or people you are introduced to through someone you know reasonably well. It should go without saying, that dating women within this circle of people should be approached differently than a strange woman in a bar because of the unique risks and advantages involved.

First we will talk about the disadvantages of pursuing women within your social circle. Knowing these disadvantages will help you avoid typical pitfalls. Women are more protective of their reputation around close friends. This means you will have less of a chance of sleeping with her early in the interactions. You don't want to do anything in front of her friends that would make her feel "easy".

Some women say they will not date friends or coworkers. This is usually an excuse to brush off a guy who shows too much interest too early. You don't want to come on too strong too soon. Have fun and keep the interactions light hearted within the group.

Unlike meeting someone new and chatting for a few minutes, building attraction with a women in your social circle will require you to be on top of your game for longer periods of time. You see each other more often and you simply have more time to lower your value in her eyes. Knowing this will allow you to be conscious of this risk over time and be on your game.

Now that we know some obvious pitfalls to avoid we will look at the advantages (which far out weigh the disadvantages) to meeting women within your social circle. First, you will have assumed value. What this means in she will meet you assuming that you are her kind of people sense you are meeting through mutual friends. When meeting someone new you may have to go through a lot to demonstrate your value, in your social circle you are assumed to be of equal social status already.

The way she learns about the great and worthy guy you are is through friends of course. This makes your job easier too. You don't have to make all the effort in making her notice your admirable qualities, your friends will tell her for you!

A woman in your social circle will feel less pressure and be less flaky than women you just meet at a bar. She will be doing more group activities and disappoint her friends as well as you if she flakes.

Since your mutual friends will build you up in her eyes and you two will spend a lot of time together in group environments she will come to trust you more easily. Again you will not have to spend all your energy making her comfortable with you.

Due to the longer interactions you will enjoy with a women in your social circle you can have more times to build attraction and show your admirable qualities without seeming like your hitting on her. This gives you a chance to be more natural, relaxed and confident.

Ok, we have the risk reward profile worked out, lets talk strategy! The first thing you must remember is to maintane your social circle. Your mutual friends should know and trust you enough to suggest that their attractive friend will be safe with you. Peer endorsement is key, because your friends build your value for you!

A very important aspect of building attraction within social circles is it is more subtle. High energy teasing and disqualifying her or yourself may come across as rude or like your trying too hard.

The way you will socialize in the beginning is through group activities. Until mutual interest is established one on one dates will have to wait. Organize things to do with your group of friends, this will make you a group leader witch builds your status as well as making seeing her seem natural.

When getting beyond attraction and comfort with her do not do anything that would make her lose face in front of your friends. Don't be touchy or try to ask her out, or kiss her in front of everyone. A light touch, a look in the eyes, or invitation when its just you two away from the group will be more effective. Your romance will seem secret and more intriguing.

To ease the transition from a casual but interested relationship to seduction and sex you have to put in the extra effort. This effort is often in the way of finesse than anything else. You have to creatively create opportunities, often on the fly, to end up alone with her. This of course must be done in a way that is natural and looks like it just happened.

The easiest way to do this is getting or giving a ride. Ask your friend to leave early without you, and then ask her for a ride. If her friends leave early offer her a ride or walk home. Another effective tactic is to change venues frequently. If you go out to dinner with friends, suggest you all go to a different place to drink or dance. Changing venues will inevitably shake lose a few people in the group.

Ok guys, here you have the small but important adjustments you will have to make to date a woman in your social circle. When combined with your considerable "game" these principles will make your chances of dating successfully within your social circle much higher! So remember to take it slow and when it eventually becomes just you and her most of the work will be done!
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