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Getting The Right Divorce Strategies In Place

Jun 12, 2008
Divorce is a traumatic event in the lives of many people. They often find themselves in a divorce situation where they feel angry, hurt, confused as well as shocked and betrayed. Certainly the situation can only be made worse through trying to work at a relationship that has no hope of being fixed and instead one should openly discuss with the other what is to be done.

Certainly it is crucial that if you have children then you don't try and make the marriage work for them. There are reasons why some relationships end. Sometimes it's because they weren't the best to start with, others because the couple have grown apart or because one has changed so much that they are not the same person that they use to be. The best thing you can do where children are concerned in a divorce situation is to work it out in the most civilized way possible. Also be honest with your children at all times.

Unfortunately, many divorces are made far worse by one party being either vindictive or hostile; and even in a divorce where that is not the case, the first thing (possibly after child custody) that is going to be the target of interest is the money and the assets. In a way, a marriage is a business deal, and this business is now being broken up. So you need to understand how to navigate these possibly hostile waters and come out alright. For this you'll need a strategy, and you'll also need tactics. Neither is romantic, but both are necessary.

Your strategy is what you want to achieve. For instance, are you truly interested in taking the house, or do you just want to get enough of the home's equity in your settlement so you can make it on your own while you go through transition? Whatever your strategy is, however, you need to understand that it is no good at all to let yourself be made into a sacrificial lamb. You may think you're being nice, but that's not what a divorce is about. It's about fairness and justice, and there isn't going to be much of that unless your strategy is to get all that you truly feel is yours by right.

The tactics you use are going to be moves which help you to achieve your strategic goals by the end of the divorce case. Having great tactics is similar to you playing a good game of chess, they help you to set up to win and they can help you to block or react to those moves being made by your soon to be ex-spouse. These tactics need to be well calculated and you should not be overly emotional when considering them as it could leave you open and vulnerable. Also although your spouse use to be nice, the stresses placed on a person during divorce can turn them in someone who will stop at nothing to get what they want. It is important that you don't back down from using your tactics, unless you discover that they aren't actually working for you.

If your divorce is contested--meaning at least one of you doesn't want to accept it or doesn't want to agree on a fair settlement--be prepared for it to take two years or more to have the papers signed. Do not set your heart on a specific time frame or date for final settlement.

Make sure you consult a recommended or known divorce lawyer on all of your tactics and your divorce strategy. Again, while not romantic, divorce lawyers are usually a very important part of the divorce process.
About the Author
Would you like to discover more divorce strategies which will help you to manage the whole process a lot easier. If so, then please visit Divorce Tips For Her by clicking on the link shown here.
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