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The Art Of Dating After 40

Jun 13, 2008
For most people, dating is extremely stressful, but those over 40 experience even more stress due to unique situations and issues. Some things that can cause complications are the issues of children, appearance, and being socially out of practice.

Men still are usually the ones to initiate the date so dating tips for men over 40 are in order. For the women who are confident enough to ask men out, the first tip for men is to be flattered and to accept. After all, she has saved you that awkward moment and you know she actually is interested.

Asking a woman out can be awkward for anyone, but if you haven't done so for 10 or 20 or more years it can be terrifying. Understand that women are nervous too and just be honest about your desire to get to know the person. Just be yourself and ask to do something together.

Simple starts like going for coffee may be easier than elaborate first dates in exotic romantic spots and less threatening as well. Choosing some coffee house also avoids the issue of alcohol when you don't know about the other person's take on that. You can't really get to know someone in loud clubs after all.

You also need to know how to handle the negative response. It may be that the person simply is rejecting the suggested activity rather than you. She may not enjoy sporting events or may not be able to dance or play golf. Try suggesting some other activity or picking different times or days. If she really does not want to see you, she will make it clear.

One of the most important things for men over 40 to remember, however, is that rejection will happen occasionally. Remember that it doesn't mean you're an awful date just because the two of you didn't hit it off. Just take it in stride and move on. Don't give up, and the right person will come along eventually.

Men over 40 who are dating again should also try and remember what they shouldn't do. A good rule of thumb is to steer clear of the subject of your ex or other women you have dated, unless you're telling a funny story. You should also avoid trying to fill her with empty platitudes. If you hand out compliments, make sure they are sincere because women can tell if you are not being honest with them.

Family can also be a sensitive issue. While it is okay to tell your date about your children and show her a few pictures, don't go on forever. Above all, you should not make the date seem like a job interview for the position of stepmother.

You should also make sure you are not acting as if you are just looking for sex. Be friendly and even flirty, but not overwhelmingly sexual. Things will progress as they should, and you don't want to send the wrong message.

The most important thing to remember, however, is to be yourself. If you're fake or you lie about yourself, you'll end up just trying to remember what nonsense you've said. No one can maintain a relationship built on falsehoods, and you need to be hones if you want any chance at a real relationship.
About the Author
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