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Chivalry: The Difference Between Being A Gentleman And A Sucker

Jun 13, 2008
I heard a comedian say in his act, "chivalry is dead, and women killed it!" As men, many of us feel that the old fashioned gestures of chivalry go greatly unappreciated these days. Women seem to be more responsive to bad boy types who are, at times down right disrespectful and brutal towards women. Meanwhile a gentleman like yourself is ignored for the most part and goes home alone far more often the abusive knuckle head types.

Many men have come to the simple conclusion that chivalry is dead because women are unappreciative. Why bother, when you can act like a selfish jerk and get more women? This attitude is all too black and white! Not only is chivalry not dead, women love it now more than ever. You can be a gentleman and treat women well but your perspective and context in witch you interact with women needs to change!

First lets explore the folly of the so-called nice guy! The nice guy is needy and manipulative! A so-called nice guy acts chivalrous or nice to a woman in the hopes that she will like him and ultimately sleep with him. This is manipulative behavior, coming from a person who is not confident, and needs a woman's validation! Every thing a nice guy does screams: "please like me". This is wrong! Women obviously do not find this attractive; other wise, nice guys would be getting laid left and right.

Now lets explore why jerks seem to do well with women. Men who seem to treat women badly exude confidence. They are not concerned with impressing her, they are in control of themselves and the situation, and have a strong sense of self. If a woman disapproves, they don't care. This confident attitude is what women find very attractive, despite that sometimes they are treated as less than a lady! Why would women subject themselves to this kind of treatment? The unfortunate truth is there are very few men who are truly confident and know how to treat women! So they settle for the closest thing they can find: jerks. At least a jerk isn't a little puppy dog of a man groveling at her feet!

Remember, Chivalry is not dead; it is more valuable today than ever! Your attitude is what needs to change. You do not act like a gentleman out of needy insecurity but out of a sence of personal pride. When your attitude is one of self-respect women will notice. When interacting with a woman you are interested in, show confidence by being a little cocky with a touch of humor. Don't ever try to gain her approval, embrace your individual qualities and show you are secure with yourself. Being a gentleman is out of self-respect as much as it is respect for women. This means you have standards. You conduct yourself like a gentleman and expect a woman to conduct herself like a lady. When chivalry comes from a place of self-respect and confidence it becomes very attractive to women.

We should all have our eyes opened to the matter now. Confidents and self respect makes chivalry attractive to women. Needy validation seeking insecure men make chivalry creepy and very unattractive! Now that you understand the true nature of chivalry, a short primer:

We all know to open doors, right? Open any door, the car, the restaurant, the front door to your home, walk ahead of her a few steps when you near the door and open it. When you do this it should be casual, as if you do it all the time. Don't make a show of it like "hey look at me I'm opening the door for you!" this is needy. As a side note, you should open doors for any woman that approaches a door at the same time as you, whether they are young old stranger or date!

The second obvious thing a gentleman would do is pulling a woman's chair out. This is a bit different however. You should pull a woman's chair out if you are with her and it is practical. If you try to do this in a situation were it is not practical you will look needy.

The third thing a gentleman should do for a lady is always walking on the outside of the curb, nearest to the road. This is often overlooked by both men and women and will make an impression, especially if she asks why you insist on walking that way.

The last tip and another often over looked aspect of chivalry is helping a lady down or over a long step. You should go first, then turn and offer your hand to steady her. This would be a good move for all you guys who drive trucks with huge tires.

Ok guys, respect the women you share your time with and most importantly respect yourselves and you will never have to worry about your gestures going unappreciated. It will be a truly empowering feeling to be able to treat women well with confidence. Intelligent women will find this endlessly appealing; because you will understand something all the jerks and nice guys haven't a clue about.
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