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Keep Infidelity From Ruining A Close Relationship

Jun 20, 2008
Not everyone is guilty of infidelity. Most probably are not. Yet the problem looms large in our society. We don't talk about it much and often act as if it didn't exist, but ignoring acts of infidelity will usually only make a bad situation worse. Infidelity can be a complex issue with many underlying causes. These causes need to be uncovered and addressed if a healing process is to occur.

Infidelity is an issue that should not be ignored when it occurs, because it is such a dividing occurrence. Infidelity shatters otherwise healthy relationships and marriages between two people, and by association can work to damage family structures and foundations. Damaging the family construct can also cause irreparable harm to the children, resulting often in the children resenting the parents for not trying to stay together.

Need other reasons as to why to stop your infidelity? Consider your own emotional state. Persons who engage in infidelity often are trying to compensate for something that they were not getting from their own significant other or are trying to experience something that is emotionally unhealthy. Often times, infidelity can be the result of some other psychological problem. In addition, you may not be satisfied with the results of your infidelity, particularly if you had no emotional attachment to the person you were committing the act with.

Additionally, infidelity is not always the death knell in a relationship, despite people feeling it to be the ultimate act of betrayal. Infidelity is the equivalent in a relationship to a child acting out against their parents when something isn't to their liking. Often, infidelity can be used as a mechanism to fulfill some need that isn't being taken care of in the relationship. But this unconscious dissatisfaction can come from seeking through relationships, that which humans cannot truly provide for each other.

If you're in a relationship that is being hurt by infidelity the importance of seeking professional help cannot be overemphasized. People sometimes attempt to resolve an infidelity issue on there own. There's nothing wrong with that but it's not always the best approach. It can be much easier to discuss issues with a trained and sympathetic professional who knows what to ask and how to deal with the answers. A couple trying to resolve the issue on their own or with untrained help may not succeed in uncovering underlying issues or may introduce issues which only make resolution more difficult.

When you are sick or injured you may have to undergo a period of therapy to recover. Repairing a relationship damaged through infidelity can also require a period of therapy prescribed by a professional. This may consist of a series of visits to the counselor, some rules and regulations to follow, some things to try out or, in extreme cases, a trial separation. A competent professional will generally try the less drastic measures first, leaving separation as a last resort.

A couple will sometimes jump to the conclusion that separation is the only option and this can be permanently damaging. A close relationship is unlikely to be restored and if children are involved they will of course be hurt. You owe it to yourself and your partner to seek out professional help should infidelity rear its ugly head. You're unlikely to resolve the issue by yourself no matter how good your intentions. As indicated earlier, the underlying causes of infidelity can indeed be complex and can only be dealt with by a professional.

If you're the guilty party you may think at first that you've gotten away with something and you can continue to get away with it. This is a slippery slope and you are not only going to hurt your partner but are also in the process of hurting yourself. Your emotional state, even your mental health can suffer severely. The sooner you recognize this and reach for help the better. Help may come from your partner or a professional therapist, or maybe even both.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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