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Get Back Together: Find A Purpose in Life

Jun 24, 2008
Unless you have a purpose in life (other than pleasing someone else), it is hard to have a healthy relationship with them. You need to be your own person, with your own goals and priorities in life. If you are going to successfully get back together with your ex. This may be hard to imagine, particularly if you made your ex the center of your life and they left you anyway, but its true. Here's why.

When another person is the most important thing in your world, their moods, needs, and interests tend to become your priority, rather than your own moods, needs, and interests. That will eventually become exhausting and disabling for you. To be healthy and happy, we need to take care of ourselves, not just someone else. Think about it: how boring a person you would be if you lived only to serve someone else. How small and uninteresting. Would you want to get back together with someone like that?

This kind of behavior is not only harmful to you, it is harmful to your loved one too. It isn't healthy to have someone around you who jumps at your every request, whose emotional state depends on your whims, who never gives you space to breathe. If you were them, would you want to get back together with someone like that. Or to look at it another way, if your ex wouldn't be bothered by that kind of treatment, are they really the kind of person you should get back together with?

Here's what happens when your life has a purpose, when you have goals and priorities other than being with your ex. You can put your relationship in perspective. You won't freak out every time they are in a bad mood or annoyed at you. You'll be better able to survive the ups and downs of the relationship if you two do get back together.

You'll be healthier emotionally. If you are doing the things that are important to you and give your life meaning (other than just trying to get back together with your ex), you will be happier and more interesting. You'll have things to talk about, things to look forward to, goals and achievements. You'll likely become more energetic, more cheerful, more upbeat. Your life will be better, with or without your ex, and you'll be someone your ex is more likely to want to get back together with.

At the same time, you'll have less energy to direct to worrying about your relationship. You've probably experienced this first hand if you've had a big project that had to get done during a highly stressful time in your life. When nothing important is going on, its easy to dwell on your problems and stress out over them. But what was it like when you absolutely had to get that big project done. You probably threw yourself into it, only to discover that you had spent hours or even days not worrying about your problems.

We all only have so much attention and can only concentrate on so much at one time. If you throw yourself into a project or goal that really matters to you, you'll have less energy to think about your relationship problems. And paradoxically, the less time you spend worrying about your ex, the more likely you are to get back together with them.

So now can you see why finding a purpose in life other than getting back together with you ex will not only improve your life without them, but makes it more likely you will get back together in the end?
About the Author
Do you want to get back together with the one you love? There's still hope! Learn how to get them back with a proven plan for saving your relationship.
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