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How To Write A Good Online Dating Profile

Jun 24, 2008
Prince Charming, wherefore art thou? Sleeping Beauty, my kiss awaits thee ...

The old bumper sticker goes, "You have to kiss an awful lot of toads before you find the handsome prince," but to be quite frank, there's an awful lot of people advertising themselves as toads! Yes, advertising!

Where are these strange advertisements? Ladies and gentlemen, they are there for the world to see on every internet dating site, and in every printed personal column throughout the land. If I had a pound for every "online dating profile" (for which read "advert"), I've seen that looks something like this, I'd have retired to paradise by now:

"Average looking person with GSOH, likes all the usual things - pubs, clubs, eating out, wltm similar. Looks unimportant."

Perhaps these people are receiving sack loads of replies. If so, I'd like to know who's writing them. Presumably ugly, boring people with nothing better to do!

Look, if you really want to meet the perfect partner, and you've decided on the dating sites/personal ads route, (and there's no shame in that!), you'd better know how to write a good online dating profile. You have to treat the profile as an advert.

And the product is you.

Now you may have a gut resistance to thinking of yourself as a product, but believe me, when someone is considering whether or not to meet you, there's only one question they want answered before they'll even think of an email or call.

The question is known throughout the world of marketing. It's this:

"What's in it for me?" (Known in the trade as WIIFM - pronounced "wiffem" - in case you're interested!)

That's it! Answering that question, if you're the advertiser, (for which read "online dating profile author"), will drive you to put in front of the potential customer, (for which read "gorgeous sexy thing that I want"), the benefits of the product (for which read "YOU!")

In other words, those are the bits that make people feel good.

A new car may have leather trim, but that's a feature. The slogan, "Drive like you're king of the road" is designed to generate a feeling, whilst "It goes faster than all the other cars and it's got leather seats" are features contributing to the benefit of feeling regal on the road.

Get the picture? Good. Now, think of yourself in the same kind of way. If someone ends up with you as his or her partner, what's in it for them? In other words, how do you want them to feel? What will leave them desperate to contact you rather than the zillion other boring folks on the same dating site?

Are they going to find themselves with a witty, sexy, generous, loving, caring, intelligent individual who will add spice and variety to every aspect of their lives? (Benefit, benefit, benefit!!!)

Or will they find themselves with someone who just "likes all the usual stuff"? (Carries no emotional content whatsoever).

Also, if you write your online dating profile in this way, you can ask - even demand - whatever you want. If you want someone "emotionally mature, but still with a sense of playfulness," say so. After all, you've just revealed you're worth it.

Remember, the reason for wanting to be in a relationship is to feel good. No, it's to feel fabulous! You want to feel loved, sexy, respected, honoured even. So why then would you write an online dating profile that just asks for a mediocre companion? A dog would treat you better than what you're asking for!

The trick to writing a really good online dating profile is to come from your heart, not your head. Don't think about what you do or like, ask yourself who you are.

Your hobbies and interests will change with time, your nature goes with you through life. Also, put emotive, feeling words in your profile, and in describing who your ideal partner is, (most dating sites and agencies ask you for this), explain how you want someone to make you feel, not just looking for "someone with similar interests".

That helps, but it isn't what makes the chemistry happen, otherwise every evening class would be filled with romantic encounters! You probably want someone who can make you laugh, make you feel cherished, (yes, fellas, you too!). A person who is respectful, kind, in touch with their emotions, confident in their body, generous of spirit ... aren't those the kinds of values that would bowl you over?

Composing your profile along these lines has another benefit too. In order to do it, you have to put yourself in touch with your own best qualities, otherwise you can't write about them. So you write already feeling good about you.

And people who feel good about themselves attract people who feel good about themselves too.
About the Author
Trevor Emdon is a personal development author. Make certain you feel great about yourself before you write your profile. "How To Trust Love Again When Your Heart's Been Broken" is available from www.trust-in-relationships.com
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