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Be The Man Your Woman Needs to Dump Proof Your Relationship

Jun 25, 2008
Why do women enter relationships? There is no one reason that applies to everyone, because at different stages of life women are seeking different things from men. But the top three reasons given by single women: (1) love; (2) to share our lives with a partner (companionship); and (3) fun.

What Your Woman Wants From Your Relationship
I can't tell you how many women (married or in an otherwise committed relationship), have complained about how their man changed "once he got me." The cordial gentlemanly behaviors, the bathing, the haircuts, the romantic attention, all die a slow and painful death. The effort a man put out to get her onto his team comes to a screeching halt once he is confident that she is his.

That guys, is a huge mistake.

Love: Brownie Points and Demerits
It's important for men to understand that TELLING a woman that you love her is only part of the equation. You have to not only tell her often, you need to SHOW her in a variety of ways, and you need to do it pretty much every day. That way you become not only her romantic interest, you become her rock, her hero, her trusted "go to" person that takes care of her, the man that she feels is the best guy in the world and that she wouldn't want to ever do without. By doing at least one thing just for her every day, you keep your "love brownie points" level really high.

That means you need to try really, really hard to avoid letting her down. Ever.

Women Don't Break Up With You Out of Nowhere!
Men go along thinking that everything in their relationship is fine, as long as their needs are getting met. They ignore their woman's requests for input and problem solving, for assistance, for time, for affection. Men often feel that if they are happy and satisfied with things, then everyone is.

That guys, is a huge mistake.

See, every time you disappoint your woman, you become a little less of a hero in her eyes. Every time she asks for your assistance and you deny her request, you are abandoning her. And every time you abandon her to "do it herself" a chunk is removed from that "rock" that you have been in her eyes. Every time you lie to her, the trust she has in you dies a little. Every time she wants to talk and be with you, and you totally ignore her until you want sex, your relationship takes a hit.

Little by little, your woman draws away from you emotionally, until one day she realizes that she is no longer in love with you. She is ready to go and you are shocked because in your eyes, women are crazy and she just "suddenly" left you for no reason.

The Difference Between Needing and Neediness
There is a huge difference between a woman that needs you, and a needy woman.

Needy women are clingy, insecure and high maintenance. Not many men choose that type of woman, and we aren't talking about them.

We are talking about the hard working, together woman you chose because she was smart, funny, strong, independent, hot and sexy, and made you feel really good when you were around her. Though she is fully capable of doing what she does by herself, why should she have to? Why is it so difficult for men to differentiate between a woman that needs you, and a needy woman?

Lazy men love to slap that "independent woman" label on their wife or girlfriend when she asks for help. But dude, you need to be very aware of the slippery slope to singleness you are on with that self-centered attitude.

A true partnership is formed when you have each other's back. But if you are one of those guys that expects your relationship to always be about you and what you want, demanding to have everything when you want it and how you want it, you need to grow up!

Your woman needs to depend on you to be a kind and thoughtful leader, and to do the right thing as a Super Hero always does. Demonstrate your love for your woman by being willing to go the extra mile to rescue and support her in times of need. When she asks for your help, give it without reservation and without 101 excuses why it isn't the right thing to do, it isn't logical or necessary in your opinion. Instead of making weak excuses, get your butt up and get busy helping her; she and your relationship need your assistance.

The smart man holds his woman's hands, heart and spirit in his with loving tenderness. The smart man, treating his "independent" woman with respect and consideration, easily "dump proofs" his relationship!
About the Author
(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and advice columns on Ask HeartBeat!, which focuses on modern relationships for teens and adults. Her dating guide Sucka Free Love! provides street-smart, hilarious insight into the toughest issues facing singles today. Check out The Sucka Free Dating Radio Talk Show on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm PST.
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