Home » Relationships » Marriage

America's Sexless Couples

Dr. Arlene G. Krieger
Jun 25, 2008
Today I was talking to a psychiatrist who works in my building and, not to my surprise, she said that very few of her patients felt any romance, even those in relationships! Although she doesn't specialize in sexuality, as does my practice, the issues of low libido and desire were, as in my office, an omnipotent theme.

Lack of feeling sexual, no desire and falling out of love with a partner are in the top 3, of issues that present in my office. The reasons range can range from moodiness, to some personal affront or offense perceived by one or another of the partners, resulting in a flame that feels burned out.

Once anger and contempt enter the parameters of relationship, there is a black hole where the heart used to be. No love or intimacy can grow there in the dark.

Learning to communicate healthily in a relationship, can facilitate many of these issues to be "fleshed out", a technical term used in therapy. This meaning, being able to work through the hurts and disappointments that are always there in the world of relationship. Fights will happen, but learning to fight fairly is another skill that has to be learned. Such as bringing up the past or insulting your partner just to be hurtful. Lashing out in anger only erodes the relationship further.

Before you're singing the song...you're already gone, I'm lonely, and find yourself begging your partner to stay, stop here please! These are the final stages of argument, where partners can make mistakes that are irreparable.

Professional help can often help partners sort things out and prioritize their relationship in a healthier and happier.

Statistics show that marriage and relationship is hard work. It is hard to keep sex and romance alive in relationship today. What can be done about it? How important is sex in a marriage after say five, or ten years? Is it necessary or important at all?

A lot can be done, and I have seen it happen in my office. ! And yes, sex is absolutely, totally, definitely, a necessity in relationship. There are a thousands of ways to be loving and show it, and enjoy a fully satisfying love life with your significant other.
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