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How Husbands Can Treasure Their Wives: Five Tips to Put It In Writing

Aug 17, 2007
"Would you put that in writing?" In contracts, loans, pledges, putting a promise into writing helps both the sender and the receiver to remember the details.

A treasuring love letter is an intimate revelation on paper that a husband gives his wife that serves to recall some of life's most treasured moments. A new husband begin a long and happy marriage by starting to write treasuring letters on his wedding day. A husband celebrating his fiftieth wedding anniversary can produce treasure chests full of letters through the years.

Let me give two examples. When I was writing "Song of Our Marriage," I experienced a great deal of anxiety that my wife would die unexpectedly and I would be left alone. This feeling came in intense waves from time to time and then it would subside. The ironic nature was that my wife was in very good health and had no serious problems. While this was a difficult period, I shared my feelings with a friend, who suggested that I write how much I treasured and loved my wife in a letter. So, I learned how to write a positive and affirming letter that mirrored the themes from the lyrics of the Song of Our Marriage.

Sharing that love letter was a treasured moment with my wife. She keeps it in a special place and reads it from time to time. Writing that letter began a personal transformation for me. Before, my level of intimacy was shallow. Afterwords, it was much easier to consciously and intentionally share my heart with her on paper by writing a treasuring letter between husband and wife.

Much later, I learned about a "legacy letter" which is an intentional letter that people write to their loved ones to be opened after they die so that they know how much they are loved. This became my "legacy letter" to my wife, which meant that I told her how much she meant to me, in many aspects of my life. The only difference was that she knew it now, while I am still alive.

Another treasured moment was the birth of our first and only child, a beautiful, child-of-wonder named Emily. We were married for 16 years before Emily was born. My wife was 42 at the time and had a difficult pregnancy. I remember writing her a heart-felt letter appreciating her willingness to have a child that late in life, knowing that a signficant change in lifestyle was coming.

We went from a two-income household to one income, and my wife stepped "over" from a top corporate travel agent to become a stay-at-home mom. As the last seven years are passed, my admiration has grown as I've seen her nurture, teach and lead our child as she grows up. And I have found many, many occasions to write brief treasuring letters for each of these treasured moments.

Here are five tips for writing a treasuring letter.

1. To be effective, a treasuring letter from husband to wife doesn't have to be long. It can be a couple of sentences in length. Make your message to the point.

2. Use special stationery, cards or paper that reinforce the message. Find out what images are special to your wife and then be on the look out when shopping. If your wife likes rainbows or cats, find cards with those themes.

3. Write notes regularly. Be aware of anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and special occasions. Think about what that event means to your wife and then write a treasuring note.

4. Write sincerely from the heart. Tell your wife what that event means to you and how blessed you are to share that event with her.

5. Write a variation on "roses are red, violets are blue." There are many different ways to end with the word "you." For example,

Roses are red, violets are blue.
Where in the world would I be without you?

Roses are red, violets are blue.
When the sun rises, I'm thinking of you.

Roses are red, violets are blue.
My life is a treasure living with you.

Knowing how to write a treasuring love letter is not hard. As long as you are aware of the impact that your wife has on you and your family, and are grateful for it, the words come spontaneously. That is what is remarkable about a love letter between husband and wife: it can literally write itself.
About the Author
Dave Pipitone is a professional communicator, spiritual entrepreneur, dedicated husband and father. For more information on how to write treasuring letters , visit http://www.songofourmarriage.com
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