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Surrounding Your Self With Success and Dealing With Negativity

Jun 25, 2008
Kevin: How do you deal with your family or people who say, oh yeah, you know, Sally's back on this like workout thing again or yeah Jim's going to train for that marathon for another month and then he's going to hurt himself again. How do deal with that? That's pretty intense to have that sort of energy around you.

Ryan: It is. You just say hey, that was the past. This is the new me. Like also when you declare it, it's definitely harder for you to go back on it, you know. If you've had a history of saying you're going to do something and don't follow through that's in the past. Today is the present and you just have to say, look this is what I'm doing. I've changed my life. This is my goal. You either support me or don't talk to me at all, you know. That's it. I've been able to - well first of all I'm blessed to have a wife who's supportive of me and a family who's very supportive but, you know, I've found that when I used to work full time with different jobs, you know, I would sometimes go to lunch with these people who were just so negative. And literally when I worked at the children's hospital I used to always have lunch with the guys in the engineering department and they would literally all they did was complain and just oh, this stinks and I just had to get away. I said look, I can't have lunch with them any more. And I just didn't. I would just sit at a different table and I'd rather just go out and eat by myself. You're better off being alone than being surrounded by negative people. It's true. I truly believe that. If everyone in your life is negative you're better off being alone because all they're going to do is put you down.

So you have to surround yourself with positive people and, you know maybe if it's your mom who every time you talk to her is all she does is put you done negative then stop talking to your mom so much and get online and start making new relationships with other people. Yeah, you know, go on discussion forums where's it's positive people. Not the negative ones. I have some private forums for my membership sites and, you know, I go through it and make sure that it's like positive, supportive people and you'll find when you attract these positive people into your life your life will start to feel better. Another thing too is most people who work, you know, tend to have some kind of commute, whether it's ten minutes in the car, an hour on the train. During that time what I do all I do is listen to positive motivational audio programs. That's it.

Kevin: Who do you listen to now?

Ryan: Now, like in my car coming here it's the second time I've listened to it, one of Jack Canfield's programs, the Success Principles.

Kevin: Okay.

Ryan: I've listened to Tony Robbins and Bryan Tracey and I'll listen to marketing information, and fitness CDs, or anything that helps me learn and stay focused and stay positive because what happened was actually two weeks ago I was just listening to some of the local radio shows and they just complain. They're negative. They make fun of people and it really put me like in a little funk. And to show you also how powerful energy is it's funny because my business partner Jim LaBeatty and I are in the same office suite here and there's all these other businesses too in these suites. There's one guy who was down the hall from us and he was here ever since we moved in and he was probably the most miserable looking person I've seen in my life. Like, I'm telling you Kevin, you would walk by this guy's office and you'd feel the negative energy. You really would.

Kevin: Wow.

Ryan: He always had his door open. Every time I'd walk by I'd smile and say hi. He never, ever said a word to me. He'd just give me like a dirty look. It's really weird and it was also no shock that he was probably about 150 pounds overweight too. So he's probably just annoyed that I'm this fit looking guy. But anyway he was so - I just gave off the worse energy and it was right by where the water machine in and I always had to walk by every day and they finally moved out about two weeks ago. And I said to Jim yesterday, I said did you notice. I wonder if this is a coincidence and then two new guys moved in to his old office. They're like young, energetic, always smiling, always saying hi. I said do you feel like the difference? He said, yeah I do. And we actually felt the physical difference in the office by the amount of negative energy this guy was giving out. And if that's just one guy in an office imagine if you're surrounded like this in your family, or your friends or everyone is so negative. And you know what? That's just something you have to deal with. You're going to have to go to activities that are going to attract other positive successful people and people who are supportive of you. You know, there's always going to be negative people who would rather bring you down with them than see you succeed. And they're the people who are jealous and maybe your friend is overweight and they see you losing weight and they're like oh, you don't look good thin anyway or your face doesn't always positive. To be honest I don't watch the news any more. I don't read the newspapers because all it is is just negative stuff to try to get ratings. That's all it is. I probably shouldn't be saying this because I'm going to start a bit publicity campaign in the newspapers and on TV. So if you're the media listening I love you very much.

Kevin: I believe, and this is okay to move into this. Though I believe it that's people are that's where you need to get them, correct?

Ryan: Um-hum.

Kevin: You know, because a lot of people on this call they're getting this information now and I can tell by the testimonials already that I'm getting from this is that, you know, we're opening people's minds up here and this stuff absolutely applies. And I really think that it's just essential. And what I'm going to ask you now is what do you think is some of the biggest things that are stopping people from getting on the success track and getting on the fitness track and getting things in order?

Ryan: Well, I think, you know, first of all there's obviously the mindset part there is they don't actually make the decision that I'm going to change, and they don't stick to it and they just live in the past. In terms of more of the logistical part I think that it's intimidating. There's so much information about fitness, about training. It's like what exercise routine do I do? Which guru do I follow? You know, then most - I'd say 99% of fitness professionals tell clients, you know, you're going to have to work out five days a week for two hours a day and you're going to have to do your aerobic training for 45 minutes on the treadmill. And clients are just intimidated like I don't want to do that, you know. I want to stay fit and lose weight but I don't want to have to spend two hours in the gym. So I think it's intimidating and people are afraid to get started, or they go to a gym and they don't have a trainer, and they don't have any instruction and they just are following what the big muscle head's doing and people are telling them the wrong information and they're afraid they're going to get hurt. It's just a lot of misinformation and it's overwhelming. You know, you look at the encyclopedia of body builders, like it's a 500- page monster. So I think it's just intimidating and they don't know where to turn, you know. And maybe I'm throwing another level onto it saying, hey you can do these workouts in four minutes but, you know, I think that if I can teach people that hey, you know, you don't have to be a model on the cover of a fitness magazine.

You know, you can lose weight, and feel good and have more energy and get healthier just by doing these simple workouts and if you can't find four minutes. If you can't find four minutes in your day and you tell me you're too busy you're full of crap. I'm sorry. If you can't find four minutes you're telling me you can't set your alarm for four minutes earlier or eight minutes earlier. You're lying because I have two little kids. I run about 13 businesses, you know. I work every minute of my life is like planned and I still find time to work out and you can too. I don't care if you have 30 jobs. Everyone has a lunch break. You know, when I used to work in the city that was the thing. I would get to work really early and do the work there and during lunch I would run over to the gym and do a workout, you know, where everyone else would sit and shove pizza in their face at the desk, you know. And then they complain that they feel like crap and they're having heart attacks at age 35 years old. You know, stop making excuses. And you also have to take responsibility for everything in your life.

If right now you're listening to this and you are 250 pounds, or you're 180 pounds and you should be 140, whatever it is. Stop blaming. Don't blame your parents. Don't blame your parents for bad genetics. Don't blame McDonald's. Don't blame, you know, infomercials. Don't blame, you know portion size. It's your responsibility. You are the one who's not exercising or not exercising right. You're the one who's eating poorly. You're the one picking up the Big Mac and putting in your mouth and washing it down with fries and a soda. You know, it's you. It's 100% your responsibility. If you're successful and you said, hey I did that and I'm proud of myself. Then you should also take responsibility for your failures. If you take responsibility for your success take responsibility for your failures because until you do that you're always going to be blaming people and I'm tired of people not taking responsibility for their own actions. And use that success. Whatever you've been successful in. Maybe you know how to speak two languages. And maybe you've been successful in raising two kids. Whatever it is find that success and say okay, if I've been successful in this I can definitely lose weight. And take the success but take responsibility. Take responsibility for everything.

This interview is an excerpt from Kevin Gianni's Fountain of Youth Summit, which can be found at http://fountainofyouthworldsummit.com. In this excerpt, Ryan Lee shares on dealing with negative relationships or circumstances.
About the Author
To read the rest of this transcript as well as access The Fountain of Youth World Summit experts just like Ryan Lee please click here! Kevin Gianni is an internationally recognized health advocate, author & film consultant. He has helped thousands of people take control of their own health naturally. For more information visit raw food diets and holistic nutrition.
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