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Letter to a Birth Mother

Jul 4, 2008
Writing a letter to the birth mother is by far the most important thing you can do as a hopeful adoptive parent. It is typically the first contact you have with a potential birth mother, and should make the best first impression possible, while presenting a true representation of your life.

The letter is not about creating the "perfect" family picture - you should take care that you are conveying your life, your personality and a good representation of who you and your spouse are as a couple with complete reality to ensure the best match between you and the birth mother.

Your birth mother letter should include family photos of you, your spouse if you have one, and other family members. They should be of high quality, and portray you in a warm and loving close-up so that the birth mother can catch a glimpse of your personalities. Showing who you are is more important than how attractive you are! There are probably very few, if any, birth mothers who select the parents for their babies based on what they look like.

If you are scanning the photographs or copying them to include with more than one letter, be sure your copies are printed as clearly as the originals. Also make a good attempt to select photographs that will bring your letter to life.

While there are thousands of fonts that you can use to create your letter, make sure you select one that is easy to read and that you choose a font size that isn't too small. You want to make it as easy as possible to encourage the birth mother to read your letter. Remember she is likely receiving a number of letters from which to select the family to adopt her baby, and the more you do to help yours stand out, the better off you'll be.

In the letter, you want to write about the things that are important. Consider what would be important to you if you had to place a baby with an adoptive family for some reason - those are the details you want to write about. What makes you a good mother or father? What makes you unique? What is the family life like - does one parent work while the other stays home to raise the children? How will you provide for the baby's physical and emotional needs?

The birth mother has to make a very difficult decision. No matter her reason for placing her baby for adoption, she will want to find a family who can provide the best environment and home. This usually means she wants a loving family who can provide for the baby's physical and emotional needs.

When you sign your letter, don't forget to include a p hone number where you can be reached twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. You never know when a birth mother will be ready to talk, and having full accessibility shows you are committed to becoming a parent.
About the Author
Cindy Simonson is a respected adoption professional and writes about child adoption at InfantAdoptionCoach.com. For the past thirteen years she has been helping people successfully adopt the child of their dreams.
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