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The Common Ploys of Men

Jul 7, 2008
Men have always tried to put on a good front in order to win the hearts and attention of women. It is not uncommon for men to wear different hats from time to time in order to draw a woman's attention and to give her the eye candy she's looking for. Most of the time, the effort sunk into creating personas and personalities that are ingenuine is wasteful and unwarranted. Being who you naturally are can be just the thing to bring the right women to dead haulted, weak kneed, passionate stand still faster than putting on a hat that doesn't quite fit and pretending to be someone you're not.

The charmer role is one of the most frequently used ploys that men counter. Often a man can put on his ultra charming persona, walk through a bar or a party, and believe he can charm the panties right off any woman in the room. Sorry guys, but it just doesn't work that way. While charm is a fabulous way to get women to smile, the women who are hopping into bed with you based on a flashy grin and a few coy one liners are simply using you the same way you're using them. They just want to go to bed with someone that makes them feel good. Since there isn't any attachment and it is all based on a faux pretense to begin with, it seems like nobody gets hurt. If this is the case, then fine. But if you're looking for something more than just a good time for a night or two, then you're going to have to break off that steady relationship you have with your pretend self and get more comfortable in your real self.

Tough guys and bad boys generally come across to women as hopeless pricks without a clue. There will be some women who believe that they can "save" him from himself, but those women without savior complexes are usually more interested in someone they don't believe they have to bail out of jail. Putting on this persona often shortcuts your road to denial and prefabricates the scope of "dope." This is a great way to find women that will be completely codependent and needy and who will feed your own negative self esteem.

Of course, there is the ever so popular persona of the "simply can't be hurt arrogant snob." By bleeding over the impression that you will never be hurt because you don't really care in the first place, that is the exact type of woman that you will attract and the type of relationship you will foster. This is the way a guy acts when he isn't very confident and isn't sure of who he really is. It is basically unattractive to women except for those who are hoping to ride your shirt tails into the successful lifestyle that you portray, even if it is a fraudulent portrayal.

Over time, men have learned a thousand tricks and ways to play the game. The problem with playing the game is that in the end, that is all it can ever be. And as you grow up find that you want a little more out of life than nightly games and guesses, the persona that you once wore like a badge of honor now becomes a chain of loneliness around your neck. The worst part would be that it is actually completely unnecessary to put on these hats, or any others of your choosing, and to bring out the worst in you by doing so. Time and time again I have watched a guy bypass a woman that is truly a gem in every sense of the word simply because she didn't fit some pre--calculated stereotypical image. How ridiculous. Women aren't quite that easy to read. In fact, many will dress one way while emotionally fitting into another stereotype altogether.

Men get highly involved in their own image partly out of a need to survive. Who they present to the world is judged by everyone, employers, family members, friends, women, and colleagues. Guys have a hard time dripping these ideas when it comes to the dating game. Unfortunately, by allowing the impressions of others to become their image and even shape parts of their personality, they are limiting their choices to a devastating level. A guy doesn't have to "fit" to be sexy, nor does he have to pretend to be big and loud and right all the time.

Any guy has the potential to land himself a wonderful, attractive, intelligent, and meaningful woman without putting on airs. Women adore a guy who can stand to be a little different and blow off the meaningless rubbing he receives from his peers.

If you're all into the game and are completely satisfied with your lifestyle, then who am I to tell you differently. However, if you were truly happy with your lifestyle, you wouldn't be reading now, would you? If you didn't secretly envy your dorky looking neighbor with the hotter than hell wife you wouldn't question whether the persona you are putting out there isn't working for you somehow.

If you aren't happy with your results, change the message you put out. It really is that simple. Don't overlook the woman who doesn't appear to fit into your category. We live in a terribly judgmental world with judgments that are passed on everything from the color of our hair to the type of car we drive to where we live to what our clothing says about our potential behaviors. It's really a little silly and you have the power to step out of the game any time you wish.

Changing your look, your prejudices, and your behaviors that are ingenuine and potentially offensive to women really isn't all that difficult. The most difficulty men have is deciding to make changes. Changes often make people nervous, both those who are doing the changing and those who are witnessing the changing. When your boss suddenly watches you go from that quiet and shy computer geek that he hasn't spoken to since he hired you to a sleek and confident guy with pep in your step and a new dream in your back pocket, he starts to wonder how it might affect him. The same goes true for everyone else you meet. People are generally self centered and are really only concerned with what has the potential to affect them.

If you have been playing the game for quite awhile, it might actually take a little effort to remove some of your self inhibiting obstacles that you have placed in your way. Take it one step at a time as you are comfortable. Some guys take a couple of years to change into themselves and other guys just complete a total and complete overhaul of themselves in one day. The choice is yours. Just as you have the power of choice when it comes to how you behave in public.

A guy is most apt to make an ass out of himself when he is trying to subtly seek a little attention from a woman. First, let me tell you that you are not being nearly as subtle as you think you are. Second, let me tell you how that tactic almost never works. The more you figure out who you are, the easier it becomes to drop the insignificant and useless personas that you like to play with.
About the Author
If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It's a must read.
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