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Dealing With Boys And Fighting

Jul 8, 2008
My boys had a punch up today. There you go, I said it. Now you know that my kids are not perfect. But remember, we can't always control what our kids say or do. But we sure can control our reactions to it.

I was in the kitchen when I heard some language that wasn't allowed in our house. I walked into the lounge and one of my boys had another boy in a head lock, and the other one was on top of someone. For those of you who only have girls, you will never understand. This is definitely a "boy" thing. However, I'm not saying that this is acceptable behavior.

Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of "he did this then I did this and he did this..." My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. The boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.

Three different versions... hmmm.. I should have guessed. OK, what to do now...

It was really bad timing for the boys as they had just orgainsed for a friend to sleep over because it was school holidays. I told the boys that they would have to ring back their friend and cancel the sleepover on acount of their violent episode. Then I went out for an hour, leaving them at home.

I had to get to the bank before it closed and thought I would give them a chance to settle down while I was gone. I was kind of hoping that while I was out the boys would get together and devise a plan to earn back the sleepover by perhaps doing some extra chores or something a bit special. After all it was the school holidays and I didn't want to be too mean to them...

Well I arrived back from the bank and walked into the house. I could see one boy doing some dishes, another boy was cleaning the bathroom vanity. The third boy had cleaned up the lounge room and it was looking very tidy. Wonderful.

Now I had every right to stick to my guns and say no sleepover. And it is OK to do just that. But I also love to extend grace to my kids whenever I can and show them that they can always lessen a consequence.

You know, even people in jail get time off for good behavior. We need to remember that it is our job to train up our children in all things but still keep our relationship with them intact. Always look for opportunities top extend grace to your children. They will thank you for it later on in life.

My kids apologised to each other and away they went. I made the decision to reinstate the sleepover on account of outstanding behavior. But you can be sure that if there is another occurence these holidays the penalty will be very severe.
About the Author
Kim Patrick is a single mum with four children who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is author of the book, "Get Your Child To Behave In 30 Days Or Less". For more information on how to get your child to behave, you can go to http://www.mychildcanbehave.com/main.html
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