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Relationships - Rules of Attraction and Love

Jul 8, 2008
Discover the mysteries of love in a relationship

For many of us, learning about love in a relationship has been one of lifes great mysteries. You're not exactly given any insights from the birds and the bees scenario that your parents may have told you. Neither is there any insight from any other typical education sources when you're growing up. There's no help from society either which is today filled with romantic ideals in movies and pop songs and new age books about sex. It is indeed through our own experiences, good and bad, that we grab any piece of information about love. In this article, I am going to focus on two specific and very prominent views from the world today on how to find the right love. There are stark contrasts between the two, both highlighting the possible pitfalls from certain assumptions we make, that todays societies have imbeded in our minds as how love and relationships should work.

The Soul-Mate Relationship

The idea that there is a person out there that you are meant to be with has been around for many years. This soul mate concept is basically the idea that you are one half of a soul and the other half of this soul is out there in someone else, your soul mate. Eventually, the two will meet and become one. There can be some drawbacks to this notion. Especially given the fact that no relationship is endless. However some have the view that the whole idea of finding your soul mate can lead you to understand yourself better and this to me is the most important part of the concept and where the true benefits lie.

Relationships that are pre-arranged

Arranged marriage relationships, popular within Asian traditions, should not be confused with forced marriage relationships, though this practice sometimes still occurs. Generally, arranged marriage relationships occur with the general consent of everyone within the family. Yet, unlike western relationships, this process does not involve a process of dating or getting to know the other person. Instead, families actively search for a partner match based on cultural, class, family, and behavioural compatibility. The idea of love is understood not in terms of 'falling in love' but rather 'growing into love'. Cons - Often emotional pressures from parents can be extremely high, to marry the 'right' person from the right background or religion. Also, arranged marriage can also sometimes not be in the son or daughter's best interests, but be reduced to family politics and competition. Pros - Family guidance and support for the relationship development can provide valuable insight into what makes a relationship work. The idea that love is something that grows over time creates more realistic expectations of how a relationship will work. This more practical view ensures that there is no romantic love bubble to burst.

What can we use from these examples to help us in future relationships

Hopefully, you aren't now more confused than when you began reading this article. What we can learn from these examples is that we need to challenge our assumptions about what defines love and relationship. Too often, the movies and pop songs present romantic love as the only way in which a healthy and happy relationship can develop. Yet, when we look at different cultures and religions, we can see so many different varieties and experiences of love and relationship exist, which have facilitated millions of successful relationships. If we can open our minds to these different perspectives, then perhaps we could begin to let go of many expectations which can sometimes leave us feeling that we are somehow missing something from life.
About the Author
Bede Nicholson is a talented clairvoyant psychic. Bede is available for any type of relationship advice daily and is highly regarded as an expert in this field not only by his colleagues but also his clients.
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