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The Laws of Attraction in a love relationship

Jul 9, 2008
Being in a love relationship

Can you remember your first 'birds and bees' lecture? If you are like most people, that's about as far as your education went in terms of actually learning about why men and women get together in a relationship. Of course, as we get older, we realize that mummy and daddy came together in a relationship for more reasons than simply making little babies, usually being love. Yet our education fails to tell us how to navigate the most difficult and sometimes treacherous waters of relationships. Lost in the sea of love, we are left to cling to whatever pieces of information we can find, to give us some hint of how to get to the emotional and physical destination we desire. Yet, Cosmopolitan Sex Guides, pop songs, or religious sermons only seem to confuse rather than clarify the issue. Is it sex or is it love in a relationship? Is it fate or is it chance in a relationship? Is it nature or is it nurture in a relationship? Is it love for fools or the wise in a relationship? I would like to look at two dominant perspectives about the process of finding the right love relationship. These two perspectives are extremely different and show us the danger of assuming any universal laws about what makes a relationship work.

When two become one!

One of the oldest traditions that is still very common today is the idea of a soul mate. Very popular in christianity, the idea is that two people share the same soul and love is infact this single soul living in two bodies being brought together. The main concept is that the meeting of these two souls to become one is the utmost form of a relationship. There are both pro's and cons to this soul mate view. The pro's being that while searching for your soul mate you are actually searching deep within yourself. Therefore creating a better understanding of who you really are. The cons being that no relationship can last for all time and the realisation of which can be quite a come down.

The Arranged Marriage Relationship

Arranged marriage relationships, popular within Asian traditions, should not be confused with forced marriage relationships, though this practice sometimes still occurs. Generally, arranged marriage relationships occur with the general consent of everyone within the family. Yet, unlike western relationships, this process does not involve a process of dating or getting to know the other person. Instead, families actively search for a partner match based on cultural, class, family, and behavioural compatibility. The idea of love is understood not in terms of 'falling in love' but rather 'growing into love'. Cons - Often emotional pressures from parents can be extremely high, to marry the 'right' person from the right background or religion. Also, arranged marriage can also sometimes not be in the son or daughter's best interests, but be reduced to family politics and competition. Pros - Family guidance and support for the relationship development can provide valuable insight into what makes a relationship work. The idea that love is something that grows over time creates more realistic expectations of how a relationship will work. This more practical view ensures that there is no romantic love bubble to burst.

What can we use from these examples to help us in future relationships

From looking at these two examples, we can see that love doesn't have to be like it is in the movies. It can be just as succesfull and happy and if you can clear your minds of these ideals then maybe our presumtions about the way love should be will disappear and we will no longer feel like we are being left out.
About the Author
Bede Nicholson is a gifted clairvoyant psychic. Bede is available for any type of relationship advice daily and is highly regarded as an expert in this category not only by his peers but also his clients.
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