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Couples Counseling: Choosing The Best Therapist for You-from Woodstock, Algonquin and Crystal Lake

Jul 10, 2008
When your relationship gets tough, couples or relationship counseling can assist you and your partner in working through your conflicts and to, at least reach an all-important mutual understanding. However, not every therapist who provides relationship counseling is going to be just right for you.

If you look at any number of relationships, you will probably find similar numbers or types of problems. While one couple may be struggling with a partners affair, another may be facing an explosive problem with anger and loss of temper.

Ultimately, even though counseling can be beneficial after situations have become difficult to manage, sometimes it is most effective at the earliest signs of a problem. By seeking relationship counseling at the onset rather than waiting until the issues are out of control, couples will find that they are able to improve communication, establish trust and foster the types of relationships that they really want to have with one another.

These problems do not exist in a vacuum and both partners are affected by each others issues. If sought early enough, couples counseling can help solve problems, identify common strengths and help develop strategies for bringing the partners closer.

Therapists who specialize in relationship counseling are aware that every couple is different and that it is the relationship itself, the quality of the bond, commitment and trust that is most important. Consequently, relationship therapists look at situations objectively, impartially and listen to what the concerns are for each partner or spouse.

Rather than being biased exclusively towards one partners perspective, couples counselors are going to listen attentively and will encourage each partner to look at the way each other sees and feels about their issues. In part, therefore, couples counseling is about time that therapists spend one on one with each partner, learning his or her perspective about a situation.

Couples counseling, however, is mostly about both partners sitting down together with the counselor and opening the lines of communication so that an understanding of different perspectives can begin to take place. Communication is the key and rather than allowing misunderstandings, frustrations and anger to get in the way, if started in a timely fashion, relationship counseling can create the opportunity for improved dialogue, problem solving and communication to take place.

However, professionals have different styles, so how do you find the best counselor for your unique situation? First,it is crucial that, when you are screening couples counselors you look for someone with whom you and your partner can feel a strong rapport and trust.

Make the all-important effort to ask probing questions when you screen therapists; this is important to prevent the disagreeable task of having to start over with someone else later because the first one did not work-out. Whether you get referrals from friends who have gone through counseling, or from your doctor or clergyman, be sure that you select a counselor with the best academic credentials, greatest amount of experience and, of course, one with whom you have a good rapport.

Ask each therapist in what she or he specializes and in what areas he has the most experience. When looking for couples counseling, be sure that the candidate has most of his or her experience in the treatment of relationships and query the counselors licensure so that you are certain that he or she is qualified to provide counseling services independently.

Also, in addition to ferreting out their experience and specialties, be sure that you are choosing someone who will be able to highlight the strengths and weaknesses of both you and your partner. Relationship counselors should be able to listen to both you and your partner without a personal axe to grind.

You need a counseling professional who will be able to focus specifically on your relationship and how both of you are feeling in order to design solutions and a program that will be effective. Search for a relationship or couples therapist with whom you are both compatible, by interviewing several of them.

To get started, ask others for referrals and you might even talk with your health insurance company to find professional counselors who are members of its network; look for ones who provide relationship counseling as a specialty.

Write questions down on a piece of paper and get an initial consultation or place phone calls to get them answered. It is crucial to use good communication skills in your dialogue with a couples counseling therapist.

When you are looking for a professional to enhance the quality of your relationship and help you repair the things that are failing, it is crucial to start the process in a way that will enhance the odds that you will be successful. Doing research, asking questions and actually interviewing couples counselors is a great way to begin your search.

When you want your relationship to work out and you want to address things before they become insolvable, your best chance to change your life for the better is to select the right therapist for your relationship.
About the Author
Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's an expert psychologist. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt orlearn more about counseling at: http://www.carypsychology.com
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