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Turning Your Relationship Around

Jul 10, 2008
Ask women about the kind of relationship they'd like to have, and they're likely to give you an example of a real-life couple (probably celebrities). Then if you ask how they think their "ideal" couples got and stayed together, they'll most likely give you either one of two replies.

The first of the two answers is "luck." These women believe that relationships are based on "fate," "compatibility," or other things that are basically out of their control. They believe in the idea that everyone, themselves included, has a "soul mate" out there waiting to find them. In other words, they're waiting for "the one" to come along.

The second of the two possible answers is "skill." Women who give this answer believe that great relationships are made, not born, and that the success of the relationship depend on how well the couple get along and work together. In other words, these women believe that they have the power to either make a relationship work or throw it onto the rocks.

Looking at the two types of thinking, which one do you think is more likely to end up with a healthy, nurturing, more permanent relationship?

The second type, of course.

But which type of thinking do you really have?

Not to point fingers, but a lot of women do believe that there's really someone out there that's meant for them. There's no way of disproving that idea, either, but with all the great single men out there today, what do you think are the odds of "once in a lifetime" happening in yours? It's a sad statistic, but many women hopelessly wait for "the one" to come by, not realizing that they could actually find him themselves if they only got up and tried.

That's what women with the second type of thinking do - they waste no time navel-gazing and do something. They go out, they socialize, they meet new men - in other words, they work on the skills necessary to attract men and get them to commit.

Yes, it's a skill. You see, men don't think the same way as women do. They can't be convinced to love you, no matter how "compatible" you think the two of you are. Instead, you can show them that you're the woman who can make their lives more fun - and watch them do all the work.

In fact, men would do anything to be with a smart, independent woman who can make life more enjoyable. After all, you're out there looking for someone who'd make you happy for the rest of your life... can you blame the men for wanting the same thing?

So go ahead and make those changes. If you can honestly show them that you can stand on your own two feet and that you're amazing fun to be with - then it won't be long before the first of these men start asking you for your number.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Want him back? Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out 3 steps to get him back.
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