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The High Cost Of Divorce, Financially, Or Emotionally

Jul 16, 2008
Divorce is a harrowing experience no matter how amicable the settlement. That experience is exacerbated if there are children involved.Children are often left confused and with a feeling of abandonment that can scar them for life. In later life they can suffer depression and other emotional difficulties which can be traced back to a traumatic divorce in childhood.

The costs to the people involved in terms of emotional scarring and breakdowns can far exceed the financial impact that is felt by the participants in a divorce. Children can bear the brunt of that emotional scarring. In many cases, it can also be difficult for fathers emotionally, as their children can be isolated from them, making it tough not only to be active in their lives as a dad but also to connect with the children if there is still some contact.

For the mother, a divorce can often feel like the heaping on of additional responsibility that wasn't as big of an issue with two parents. The child rearing now being almost squarely on her shoulders, a mother can often feel broken down and emotionally overstretched, as her children now rely on her for support and love almost exclusively in many cases. Children can feel alienated as a result of not being nurtured enough.

With the children often being caught in the divorce without much knowledge of the events occurring, they can feel resentment towards the parents because their only perception is that they are responsible for breaking up the otherwise happy family. A poor divorce can result in immature or young children developing a negative view of their parents.

Children can often feel like they are responsible for a divorce and can then take the stress of the events on themselves as well. This can leave children feeling like they cannot be part of a stable relationship in a friendship sense or, later in adolescence, in a romantic sense. Social situations will also tend to be skewed and seem like they are not conducive to the child being involved, which can further hurt their development.

If the divorce has occurred by one partner being unfaithful to the other then this can leave the other partner with feelings of rejection, mistrust and doubts about self image that often carry on into further relationships. Whilst the unfaithful partner has feelings of guilt they inflict an emotional scar on their loved one that may never heal.

With divorce rates as high as they are in many countries worldwide, divorce is a reality. Even if marriages do not intend to end in divorce, many often do, with often traumatic results to the families broken up. Because divorces are a no-win proposition in many cases, the best advice to figure should you be considering that route is to ensure the breaking up of the marriage happens smoothly and friendly.

Ultimately, the process of divorce can be emotionally tough but can also be the start of something better for all parties involved, as they may be able to emotionally find someone that better fits their personalities and lives. Remember though that no matter what your marriage looks like, the costs involved with a divorce may be more to bear than the costs of keeping your relationship together.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you rebuild your life. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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