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Infidelity Raises Issues Of Trust

Jul 17, 2008
When a man or woman has an affair, attention is most often focused on them, their marriage, and the looming outcome. The effects of this infidelity on kids is often overlooked, but it can be just as hard on children as it is on their parents. Like their mother and father, kids may begin experiencing feelings of mistrust, self-blame, and confusion; and it will undoubtedly affect them down the road in relationships of their own.

Many children will look for reasons to blame themselves for their parents' action of infidelity. They will begin to feel guilty for causing the situation at hand, and as a result, will begin to feel confused, angry, and sad. All of these misconceptions become a weak foundation on which their present and future feelings of mistrust are built.

Many children get a sense of security from a strong relationship between their parents. Once their mother and father start exhibiting negative behavior towards one another, children may intentionally misbehave as they become insecure about their future. Even the possibility of an affair can be enough to affect the way a child acts.

The effects of infidelity on kids can reach beyond the individual child as well. They might become aggressive towards their siblings, or they may simply detach themselves from them emotionally all together. It is even possible that they will point the finger of blame in the direction of a brother, sister, mother, or father, wondering who actually caused the cheater to be unfaithful in the first place.

The stability of a loving home disappears when someone cheats. Both parents may create a facade, but most children are capable of seeing the falsehood. This increases the overall level of stress. The attempts to make the situation better actually make it worse, leaving the children feeling unloved and vulnerable.

Many children whose parents have been unfaithful go on in life to have problems in relationships of their own. They may have ingrained feelings of mistrust and jealousy, which can affect their faith in their partner. They also may believe they are destined to suffer the same consequences as their parents.

The ultimate sacrifice that an unfaithful parent might make is a total breakdown of their relationship with their child. Although emotional wounds might heal on the surface, the deep scars of anger and resentment tend to never go away. Children will more than likely carry these well into adulthood and will always have memories of what happened.

The battle is not over for couples who work through the affair and choose to stay married rather than getting a divorce. Their children will still suffer well after the act of infidelity has ended. Children may live in a constant state of wondering when and if their parent may cheat again. They will need help working through the aftermath of the affair as well.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you rebuild your life. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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