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Reasons An Affair Can Make A Marriage Stronger

Jul 20, 2008
To try to explain the emotions one feels when they have just learned their spouse is having an affair is most difficult, but one can acknowledge that a sense of betrayal, anger, and hurt are among the prevalent ones. Confusion can take hold as well, and when in the midst of the emotional turmoil of an affair, it is all too easy to act with haste. An affair need not mean the end of marriage. Everything about your life need not change in a moment's time. If time is taken to consider what is really happening, and what the affair is indicating needs to occur at this time.

So are their reasons to stay married after an affair? Yes, there are. Have you ever looked at another person and lusted? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be with another lover? Maybe you have unintentionally flirted with one of those people. The point is, we are all human. We make mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes.

When we learn from our mistakes, then our mistakes are not necessarily a bad thing. Even when the mistake has been an extramarital affair. Mistakes cause us to learn, to reach for something better, to step outside of our usual selves and grow. Growing through an affair together with our partner is possible. It may even make the marriage more durable, the partners more united.

Whether you are the one who strayed or your partner, if you have the strength to build your marriage up after this, it will be stronger than ever. If the partner who had an affair is truly regretful of what they did, the marriage can survive.

In trying to determine whether or not to end an affair, a good place to begin is asking oneself why they began the affair in the first place. What emotions encompassed the beginning of the affair? Do you feel guilty, and if so, why did you feel this guilt? There could be any number of reasons, including not wanting to end your marriage, not wanting to hurt your spouse, or perhaps, because you really do love your partner. Together, you have been building a marriage and a life.

Part of the appeal of an affair is that the other party is a mystery, and the situation is intriguing and exciting in a way that marriage just isn't anymore. Perhaps the risk of getting caught is exciting as well. The likelihood that this relationship will endure over time once the feelings of excitement and the newness pass isn't very promising. After those emotions that you revel in now are no longer there, in all probability, it will be your spouse that you will want to go home to. Before the opportunity passes, you need to make the decision to stop your infidelity.

Why stop your infidelity? You still love your spouse! They know more about you, both your good things and your bad and they are still with you. They love you. So stop bringing this ugly hurtful thing between you both.

When you married each other it was in love. That love has played a big part in holding the relationship together when the storms came. Now, you have another storm to face together. If you both have what it takes to work past the affair, you will come out the other side of it stronger and more deeply in love. Because of the reasons you married each other, these same reasons are the ones that will keep you married.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start restoring your marriage right now.
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