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The Essential First Steps to Getting Your Ex Back

Jul 22, 2008
It's official, you and your ex have finally broken up. So what do you do now? This article will deal with the first steps to take immediately after a breakup.

1.) It is vital that you get over the panic and stress about your breakup. You cannot take control and actually do something that will work when you're stressed out. Don't discuss with your friends all the wrongs that your ex did.

This type of discussion only serves to strengthen negative feelings. Talk of this sort will make your friends feel uncomfortable. Their suggestions will be of questionable value if they're inexperienced at dealing with relationship problems.

2.) This problem isn't going to repair itself. You will have to put forth the effort to change things for the better. A cool head will be needed to do this.

Your first instinct after the breakup will be to patch things up as fast as possible. There is no quick fix to relationship problems. As a matter of fact, you should let things cool off for about a month.

It helps tremendously if the breakup occurred in a non threatening way. Some time will be needed for reflection, to get things into perspective. Understanding the reasons behind the breakup is essential before any attempt at contacting her.

3.) Try being friends with her. It won't be an easy thing to do after the breakup but it will keep the channels open for future contact. The nature of your most recent contact always defines the current status of your relationship. That last contact is the basis for her current thoughts about you.

Do some of the fun activities you did together before you had sex. This will bring out her memories of the good times of your relationship. This fun aspect of your past relationship will make it harder for her to leave.

4.) Be very careful when drinking alcohol. It will distort your common sense and judgement. The consumption of alcohol late at night often causes a person to give their ex a phone call.

No one is in a good frame of mind when they're wakened late at night by a phone call. This is doubly so if that call is from their ex. On top of this, the alcohol will diminish your inhibitions and you will regress to the usual behaviors that causes conflict.

5.) Get out of the house and have a little fun. I know it's easier for me to say that than for you to do it but it has immense therapeutic value. Make new friends and get back together with the old buddies. Enjoying life again will drive away the pain and depression of the separation.
About the Author
Recently separated? Get free advice on breakup survival and a strategy on how to get back with your ex.
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