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Getting Married, Staying Married

Jul 22, 2008
My husband was 25 and I was 20 years of age it's enough to make you want to take a walk down the aisle with our baby 7 months old bumped between us. Who would have thought that we'd end up 5 kids and 18 years later still together? Alas! My husband and I not have been married a very long time like other people. Along the way, we discovered some common concepts or keys that across marriages we have known to be successful - think, 30, 40, 50 years. Let me allow sharing them with you.

You need to ask yourself: "Is this the person you want to walk on the beach with when your hands are wrinkled and you walk slowly." A young boy and girl dressed in white wedding attire strolling down the church isles to a wedding arch. People thought we were doomed. Who would imagine that we we'd end up to 5 kids and 18 years later we are still together. The path to greater wealth may start with making a commitment--of the romantic kind. My husband and I may not have been married as long as others but, along the way, we discovered that there are some common concepts that cut across marriages we have known to be successful-think of it about 30's,40's or 50's. The relationship has to be based on mutual respect, common purpose, and trust. Both parties need to identify what they want out of life and then continue that dialogue throughout their marriage. It doesn't take that much time, but it does take focus, and patience.

Know yourself more, being aware of the issues and, more than that, realistically confronting and surmounting them: it can help make a better you and a better spouse. Experiences that will help you evolve and expose yourself. Develop your self-esteem; imbibe a strong sense of self. Happy individuals and learn from them it would help you to consult the most mature. You can discover that growth is continuous that they've picked some important things along the way that make them what they really are. So it can be the best one can do is approximate them in internally and be content.

2. Love is a decision and a DOING WORD. This thing can attract men plus women. "Love is not a feeling. It's a decision" Steven Coveys says: Love is a DOING word. It requires choices. It actually combines the two present aspect of what it means to really LOVE.

Love as a decision. It is a statement that reminds couples to love the person, not the behavior. This situation can attract men plus women too. It means that LOVE is commitment that you made with your full, whole consciousness as a mature, self-actualized human being.

Love as a decision. It is a statement that reminds couples to love the person, not the behavior. Many people do not see why a person would have to make the decision to love since they made that decision many years ago when they said yes to one another on their wedding day. It is normal in married life to have periods of romance and disillusionment. Both can attract men and women. LOVE IS a daily decision, a choice to Love or not to Love.

Love is a doing word. Love is bigger than emotions, thoughts, attitudes, and experiences. Love is a verb. The guts and grit of love are centered in our actions and deeds. Love runs deeper than mere emotions. Its current cuts deeply into our thoughts and captures our imagination. We deeply yearn for that feeling of being in love. No doubt about that. That's part of love's power. It can leap over our thoughts and capture our hearts. This can easily attract men plus women But what does the world know of the kind of love that the Bible defines anyway? Should it surprise me that the dictionary definition is so far removed from what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7? I wonder if older dictionaries ever acknowledged the doing side of love? Is this dangerous limitation of the English concept of love a modern phenomenon? It requires commitment. It's about faithfulness.

3. Communication. Of course, that is the first thing to do. Both can attract men and women. The first important thing to remember about communication in marriage is to consistently use "I" statements as opposed to starting out a sentence with the word "You." While this may sounds like a simple change to make that might not make a whole lot of difference, as any therapist knows, "You" statements tend to sounds accusatory, causing the other spouse to feel defensive.

4. It's not me, it's WE. Once they enter into a relationship, they are no longer just two individuals but one. Life and personality of its own and must be treated. In marriage conflict is often it may cause by a clashed of individuals.

"WE"- ness it also includes the most powerful guidelines in successful marriage. Part of marriage is compromising, and you will never agree one hundred percent on everything. So agree to disagree sometimes and respect each other's opinions. Share household responsibilities. Whether you divide and conquer or team up to do everything together.

Even if your marriage is headed toward separation or divorce, most marriage counselors are also experienced in handling these issues. Friendly support and advice can feel like life savers at this time of crisis. It can be a mistake for husband or wife to try to hang on to the marriage because of fear of exiting into a lonely, loveless existence. Separation and divorce can be a chance to build a new and improved life in the face of irreconcilable differences. You will be able to develop a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime. Numerous other tips and guidelines couples can learn from to improve their marriages but I find these 4 will serve them through the years.
About the Author
Carmela King is a team member of SaveMyMarriageToday.com. She and her husband is just one of the many couples who almost got divorced. The lessons taught by the site help them save their marriage their and this prompted her to join their team. She's now spreading the word to help other couples who are in the same situation.
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