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6 Things to Know Before Becoming a Gestational Surrogate Mother

Jul 24, 2008
Deciding to become a gestational surrogate mother can be exciting! It feels very good knowing that you have helped to create another family, and have changed a couple's lives forever. But before you jump into surrogacy, there are a few vital things you need to know.

1.Its not easy
Unlike a typical pregnancy, there are many more hoops you need to jump through with surrogacy. More tests need to be done and multiples like twins and triplets are common. There will be more doctor's appointments, and someone else will need to be updated about everything that happens.

There is no privacy in surrogacy. Things you would normally only share with your spouse now needs to be shared with another couple.

You may be asked to postpone family vacations or holidays so that you do not deliver the baby or babies in the wrong hospital. Sacrifice will have to be make.

2.It doesn't always work
Surrogacy is very time consuming. If you are lucky, a shorter gestational surrogacy can take about a year.

On the other hand, if the medical procedures do not work the first time, you could go through three or four or more cycles, some several months apart, and have a journey last more than two years. Sometimes a surrogate mother does not get pregnant at all.

Since a surrogate mother typically does not receive her fees until she is pregnant, she should never depend on that money coming in. Often, it does not come in at all.

3.You'll need to give yourself shots
If you haven't found out this critical piece of gestational surrogacy information, then you need to do a lot more research before you do anything else. Gestational surrogacy requires shots.

A lot of them. You will be required to give yourself 1-3 shots daily, for more than three months. Some of these shots are little needles that resemble diabetic insulin shots, but most are the long, 2-3 inch syringes that are to be injected into the muscular part of your buttocks.

Your spouse can help you with this if possible. This part of gestational surrogacy is unpleasant, but completely necessary.

4.How do you feel about selective reduction?
Selective reduction happens when there are more than two fetuses. If you become pregnant with triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets or more, how would you feel if the doctors and intended parents wanted to "selectively reduce" aka abort some of the fetuses to get to just two?

It is important to note that you are still more than able to become a surrogate mother if you would not selectively reduce under any circumstances. It's just important to know that and find intended parents who feel the same way.

Multiples are very common in surrogacy. Do not assume it will not happen to you.

5.You need your own lawyer
If you become a surrogate mother, you will need to sign a contract. You need your own lawyer, not a shared lawyer with the intended parents.

The intended parents will pay for the cost of your attorney to look over your contract. This is in your best interest, as your attorney may find something that would inadvertently take advantage of you.

6.Set your own fees
No two surrogacy arrangements are alike, and the fees a surrogate receives are very personal, and vary completely. If you are considering becoming a surrogate mother, you need to research the different types of fees and see which ones are appropriate for your situation.

If you do not do this prior to finding intended parents, you may feel as though you are being taken advantage of later. Knowing what fees you are looking for also makes it easier to talk about money when the time comes.
About the Author
Rayven Perkins is an author and two-time surrogate mother. To find out more information on surrogacy or how to become a traditional or gestational surrogate mother, please see her site
Information on Gestational Surrogacy
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