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Quality Time With Your Partner

Jul 30, 2008
Every relationship needs quality time for the bond to remain close and to strengthen over time. Without quality time together a couple will gradually become distant and somewhat alienated from each other.

This section of the book is not just about spending quality time together. It's also about quality time for him.

Give Him Space

Men need time out to themselves: Time to reflect on the day, a moment to ponder, a chance to wind down. How much time your man needs and how often depends on his personality and temperament, and the circumstances of his life.

Perhaps his job is very physically and/or mentally demanding and draining. If that's the case, the very first thing he'll probably need at the end of a work day is some quiet time to himself for twenty minutes or so. This certainly isn't the right time of the day to hit him up with a problem, or to tell him what's on your mind. Greet him when he gets home, then let him be for half an hour.

Men also like to have an area of the house that is exclusively their domain (like the shed or garage).

We men need space at times for a number of reasons:
  • To work out, in our own minds, a problem or an issue
  • To ponder how to make more money
  • To relax without anyone talking to us
  • Unwind without any external stimuli (i.e. other people around, TV, music)
  • Time out for hobbies and recreational pursuits
  • Time to do guy stuff
Everyone needs time out to themselves, but men do especially. We are by nature more aggressive creatures and that all important chill out time allows us to unwind and prevents us from becoming agitated.

Make Time For Him

The modern world is often a busy and hectic one. Between work, chores, the children's needs, family and friends, there is often not much time left in the day. Next thing you know it's bed time, then the routine starts all over again from the moment you open your eyes in the morning.

It is very easy for a week or two to slip by in the blink of an eye and suddenly realise you've hardly spent any quality time with the man in your life.

In the previous topic we mentioned that your partner will need some quiet time to himself every so often. Help him to have that time, those moments of peace and serenity. Don't try to fill every waking moment of his day with things to do.

Likewise, in order to refresh your own mind and keep your sanity, you also need to allocate some quiet time alone for yourself as well. We all need this, at least in small doses.

Most of all though, make certain the two of you get some quality alone time together. Even if you can't be spontaneous about it and have to plan it, set aside a block of time at least once a week that is just for the two of you.

Which leads us onto the next topic.

Alone Time - Together

Having alone time together means exactly that: Alone. It doesn't involve socialising with friends, going to a family gathering, or spending time together in a crowded shopping mall. Although these things may be time out from work and chores and you are technically 'together', they defeat the purpose of this much required element of your relationship.

If it has to be planned or scheduled because of the constraints of everyday life then by all means plan it. If it can be spontaneous then all the better.

Spontaneity adds a touch of excitement to your time together. When something is totally unplanned and adlib things tend to be more of a surprise and therefore much more fun and interesting. Also, the moment flows naturally and nothing feels forced like can happen in some predetermined situations.

Don't always wait for your partner to organise some togetherness time. Planning something for him and yourself is fine, especially if he doesn't know about it and it's all a surprise.

Whatever you do together doesn't have to cost money either, or at least be relatively inexpensive.

Sharing a few glasses of good wine in the quiet hours of the night is a common and pleasant way to unwind together. The drop of alcohol also lends itself to freeing up the pair of you so that the moment and ensuing conversation flows in a relaxed manner.

Casually walking arm in arm on the beach or by the banks of a river or stream is great. It costs nothing to do and the presence and sound of water always has a calming influence.

A simple picnic on in a quiet area during a pleasant country drive is another good option. It gets you both out of the house and the routine. You add that little bit of adventure to the outing by not planning exactly where you are going to drive to, or where you are going to stop. A picnic also affords the opportunity to indulge in some relaxed and quality conversation. Who knows? You may even get intimate?

It doesn't really matter what you do so long as the time spent together in these special moments isn't interrupted or interspersed with the routines of your everyday lives.
About the Author
The above article is an excerpt from the author's book "How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good" by Darren G. Burton. To view or purchase a copy, visit:
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