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Top Five Cowardly Ways to Leave Your Lover

Aug 1, 2008
The way he brushes his teeth reminds you of fingers on a chalk board. He scrubs them hard and fast versus in small, slow circles like he should be doing. He doesn't floss either, which is just bad oral hygiene.

Can't stand the way she chews with her mouth open? It was so embarrassing last Christmas at the holiday party... you don't know why it has taken you this long to decide to give her the boot.

If you are ready to end a relationship, call it quits, throw in the towel and throw mama from the train... (for lack of better words) you might want to consider the top five most cowardly ways to leave your lover.

#1. Send A Dear John Letter

Tacky as it is, a Dear John letter gets the point across pretty darn quick. If you are heartless enough to end a relationship with a letter, the good news is that today's technology has allowed you to do it even easier. These days, you no longer even have to invest .41 cents for a stamp. All you need to do is send an email to get the job done.

Keep in mind, sending an email could later jeopardize your character even further than it is if you choose to end a relationship in this fashion. The reason this is dangerous is because emails can quickly be sent to all your friends, family and associates - making you look like a complete tool.

#2. Text Message

Sending a text message is another alternative for the cowardly way to break off a relationship. It's quick, easy and also does not cost a thing. It's instantaneous because most people carry their cell phones with them at all times. Technically, they could receive the break up text while at work, school, play or anywhere they might be. Rude as it is, this method is highly effective in putting the kabatz on your love affair. Warning: Don't expect to ever talk with your ex-lover again if you choose to be such a wimp in ending things.

#3. Over the phone

Slightly less cowardly than an email or text message - a phone call can put the stops to your relationship woes rather effectively as well. The phone allows you to give your soon to be ex an opportunity to hear you speak the words. It also allows them the immediate chance to express their feelings to you. In a weasel way, the phone also allows you to control the conversation because you can hang up on the person any time you want the conversation to end. When your crazed old flame dials your number repeatedly to give you a piece of their mind, you can choose to ignore the phone call, turn your phone off and/or send them screaming straight into voice mail.

4. You Can Fall Off The Face Of The Earth

Avoidance... the most passive aggressive of all options has been shown to be one of the most emotionally damaging things you can do to another person. Excluding and ignoring them from the truth of your feelings has been used to punish and manipulate people for centuries.

This form of a break up is very effective because it's powerful and you can get away with it. It's hard to prove that you are ignoring someone. You could deny it and say, "I've been busy" if asked why you have not reached out. Eventually, if you ignore someone long enough, they usually get the picture.

#5. You Let Them Hear It Through The Grapevine

This wins the award for the most cowardly way to break up with someone... you never tell them, you don't acknowledge them or the break up, you fall off the face of the earth and allow them to hear it from someone other than you. Maybe a family member will let them know you have a new boyfriend, or a friend will see you walking in the mall with your new love. Letting them hear it from someone other than you is extremely passive aggressive, rude and downright cowardly.

Do these five suggestions above sound like viable options for breaking up with someone? I hope not! Although humorous, I hope that what you realize is that I would never suggest anyone break up via these five approaches.

If you feel in your heart and mind that you must move on in life without your lover, the right thing to do is talk with them, face to face... tell them how you feel. Create open dialogue for them to express their feelings.

Thank them for all of the wonderful times, feelings, moments and realizations they have brought into your life. Share with them how much the time spent with them has been a blessing.

Don't say you are going to be friends - if that is not the case. Just respect, honor and lovingly allow them to move forward with positive feelings as you do the same.

If you break up with anyone the cowardly way... keep in mind that what comes around goes around. And if someone breaks up with you the cowardly way - they will reap what they sow. Be thankful that you are no longer with that person... if they break up with you in this low class fashion.

Breaking up is hard to do - but if you are loving, kind and respectful - you will make it that much easier on yourself and the one that you shared wonderful moments of your life with.

The Golden Rule always applies in a break up- "Treat others the way you want to be treated."
About the Author
Jackie Mahaney is a dating & relationship journalist as well as an inspiring author of a novel titled, "Meet Delaney" and host of "Everyday Woman" found on Women Web TV. Mahaney writes about life's personal relationships with honesty, integrity and of course, humor! To learn more about her books, relationship events and web tv show, visit Jackie Mahaney.
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