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Raised in a Dysfunctional Family? A Counselor Can Help-From Carpentersville, Wauconda and Grayslake

Aug 5, 2008
Psychologists and counselors provide a therapy to explore the troubled childhood we often repress as adults. As we grow into adulthood, we sometimes experience an ever-present anxiety, anger or depression because of unresolved conflicts that continue to simmer but consciously are unrecognized.

Our perception of our inner reality shifts away and is pushed under the rug. The gnawing pain we feel inside is ignored in favor of an acceptable way of pretending that everything is OK.

Imprisoned by societal proscriptions, our ability to uncover the anxieties, torments and fears acquired from living in our dysfunctional families become stifled; often we feel that vague gnawing anxiety, however, unaware of its cause, we lose touch with our authentic selves.

Many people develop defense mechanisms and coping skills necessary to deal with their dysfunctional childhoods, while others need to shovel-out their childhood memories to look at them, come to terms with them, and finally resolve them and leave them behind.
Individuals having difficulty coping with the traumas forced upon them by their troubled childhoods are, without counseling, ultimately left to unhealthy vices to cope with the pain and suffering their disjointed psyches experience daily.

Do you remember, as a child, seeing other kids laughing and playing with their parents? Do you remember how peaceful it was not hearing the parents arguing and quarreling with one another?

Many of us remember these respites from the turbulence and crises in our homes and mourn the fact that we lost this opportunity to imagine, dream, and have fun in our own homes in peace. And we do not think or talk about it because society says to put on a happy face, or just take an anti-depressant.

Undergoing psychotherapy or counseling is, in reality, not complaining or whining as some would have you believe, but, rather, a way for you to mourn your traumatic past, finally get past it, and then start to realize your dreams. The dreams you had as a child; your hopes for the future; your imaginative side that you have tossed aside because of the inner anguish and depression from which you have suffered-and your attempts to hide it and live a masquerade that everything is OK.

Is losing our anxieties and depression and living in a world full of colors instead of one full of gray, black, and white such a bad thing? Surely, having an opportunity to release ourselves from our dreary past and get in touch with the magical world of our hopes and dreams must be worth something.

So, before you go off and bad mouth Dr Phil and other counselors remember your attempts to escape through the dreams you at bed time and how much fun it was to fantasize about your future, escaping into that magical world of fantasy. Is believing you can overcome your past and live in a magical, healthy and happy place so wrong?

How about believing in you? When we lose touch with our true beliefs and childhood fantasies for redemption we stop believing in ourselves. We replace our own belief systems with the group consciousnesses and start believing we should just pretend all is well.

Losing our true identity is the result of this evolution into becoming smiling mannequins. Try believing in yourself and start reaching for your true values, dreams, and ideas!

Losing touch with who we are happens more and more often in our families, schools and society in general. Identity crisis seems to be the norm rather than the exception anymore.

Reflecting on our past, taking a bigger perspective and having a healthy imagination and sense of individuality can really boost your feeling of self worth and belonging. Why penalize yourself for wanting to bury your tragic past and work towards a better, more hopeful view or perception of your reality?

Imagination, creativity and renewal are integral parts of the human psyche. Get into counseling, embrace them and get in touch with your inner child.

Try talking with a psychologist or professional counselor and suspend your disbelief. Who knows, you may just open the doors to creative talents and ideas that you have repressed along with your imagination and dreams. You may even regain your true identity!
About the Author
Dr Shery is in Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills. He's an expert psychologist. Call 1 847 516 0899 and make an appt orlearn more about counseling at: http://www.carypsychology.com
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