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Phone Number Junkies

Aug 7, 2008
How many times have you been out and passed your phone number to a person... only to never have a phone call manifest?

It's funny, David and I were on a call the other day when we started laughing at all of the people online in forums and blogs screaming to the masses:

"I got 5 phone numbers last night!"

Perfect... congratulations... you're the man...

You know, I've been there... and I've been that guy. There's something that strokes the ego a bit when you get a woman's phone number... even if you have no real intention of calling.


That's right... there are people out there right now that are gathering phone numbers just to satisfy their own "manhood".

Of course, for many men... and even women... this isn't a problem in the beginning when they are just learning to branch out and talk to people.

In fact, getting phone numbers for people helps to raise confidence levels for many of the "socially inept".

However, once you get past this introductory level... there's no point in getting point numbers just to get phone numbers.

The whole "hey, give me your number and we'll hang out sometime" is getting pretty lame.

Personally, I only get someone's number if I have a definitive plan in mind. Most people use phone numbers as a "what if" scenario... like... "what if I'm bored, now I have someone to call".

Not this guy. If I don't really feel a reason to get to know someone better... I don't ask.

Here are a few reason why you don't want to be a "phone number junkie":

1. If you get someone's number and don't call... and they see you out later sometime... now you are setting yourself up to HAVE to lie to the person if they ask why haven't you called.

Personally, I really dislike being in that situation. Plus, you're gonna look like a dick either way... even if they don't ask.

Oh, and don't forget that now... all of her friends know.

2. Many guys worry about women flaking... and from my experience... women flake at the beginning for one of two reasons: either she gives her number out habitually... or you haven't built up enough intrigue.

For myself, I tend to have a reason to ask for someone's number like: "I have a free lunch hour tomorrow... how about meeting me for lunch, coffee, etc"

There's a great reason that I like doing this... you can already find out right off the bat if she's gonna flake. If she says, "oh I can't do tomorrow" and doesn't follow up with an alternative... she's just not that interested.

However, if she responds with "Oh, I can't do tomorrow, but I can definitely do Wed... how about that?"... that's a great sign.

You can "weed" the pretenders out right off the bat.

3. She might give you the dreaded "rejection hotline" number. I know many cities have it.

It's a phone number that people can give out in place of their own... that has a recording that basically states that you've been rejected and that the woman really didn't want to give her number to you.

It's true, I've heard it... and it's funny as hell.

4. You only have a certain number of phone number slots in your cell phone... you might as well load it up with ones that YOU'RE GONNA USE.

I want to elaborate on something really quickly about number 2...

Some people may say that putting yourself out there and asking her if she'd like to meet you out to get to know each other further "put's the ball in her court" and "gives your power away"...

I disagree.

You see, if you've done your job of building intrigue... this won't set you back a bit and... quite frankly... I find that women respond much better to a direct plan...

rather than a "we'll hang out sometime".

Plus, my time is valuable... and I communicate that in more than one way.

So, I want to know if I'm going to be wasting my time on someone as fast as possible... whether through flakiness or indecisiveness...

Use the phone number as a stepping stone... as a means-to-an-end. Don't use it as a "private victory".

And I almost forgot... if you have a plan for the phone number right off the bat...

you don't have to worry about the mythical "3 day rule"... :)
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