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How To Reveal A Cheating Spouse

Aug 7, 2008
Many of you often wonder where your spouse is and what they are really up to. You wonder and worry whether or not they are being faithful to you.

As you agonize over there whereabouts, they may be off having a great time with someone else. They may even be having an affair!

This article will help reveal some signs of cheating that your partner may be leaving behind.

Car Mileage

This may sound weird, but it is almost always overlooked by a cheating spouse. If your spouse works 5 miles from home, then why did 30 miles get put on the card today?

Errands

Maybe your spouse seems to be running errands he or she didn't used to run. Try to see if there is a pattern here. Is your spouse always leaving the house at 7pm on Tuesday? Did they ever really "go to the grocery store" that often? See if you can find a pattern that your spouse is following. If you notice a sudden change, your spouse may be having an affair.

Attitude

This can be a change for the better or worse. Sometimes, when someone is having an affair, they become so excited to be with the other person that their joy carries over to other aspects of their life.

On the other hand, having an affair and keeping it a secret can be a daunting task, and sometimes the stress becomes overwhelming and they get very depressed or angry.

In other cases, mood swings are very evident. Pay attention to your spouse's moods and you may be able to determine if they are having an affair.

Obsessions

When someone is having an affair, they tend to find new interests in other areas of their life. Maybe you husband wasn't much of a car guy, and now he is obsessed with a little red sports car.

All he seems to talk about is this car, and how much he wants one. For your spouse, maybe it is something different h/she is obsessing over.

Secrecy

Has your partner stopped sharing their secrets with you? Did you used to stay up and talk about goals each of you had, or things you wanted to do? Has your partner stopped telling you what they like and dislike about everyday things and life in general?

If they have stopped, then chances are they are sharing these things with someone else. People don't usually just stop caring about life all together.

Jealousy

Often times, people who are having an affair will stop caring about their spouse. Perhaps you had a husband who couldn't stand all of the guys flirting with you and hitting on you, and now, all of a sudden, he pays it no mind.

He may ignore it simply because it is a relief to him. It focuses your attention somewhere else, and he feels less guilt for cheating on his wife.

If your spouse suddenly stops showing interest in you, it's probably because h/she is showing it to someone else.

Sexuality

This is my favorite warning sign. Too often people think that if you are having an affair you don't want to be intimate with your spouse anymore. While you need to pay attention to this behavior, be watchful of your spouse taking a stronger sexual interest in you as well.

In my studies, I have had a woman share with me that while cheating on her husband, an affair that lasted a little over a year, she couldn't stand beign intimate with him.

She would leave her lover's house after a sexual encounter and would not be able to be with her husband for days. It wasn't that she wasn't attracted to her husband; he just couldn't make her feel like her lover did. In fact, she said that having sex with her husband became painful and she could no longer get arroused. On the other hand, I have had people share with me that having an affair made them want their spouse sexually even more. They would become so turned on by their lover and the excitement of hiding what they were doing, that they had to have sex constantly, like it was a false addiction.

So changes in sexual behavior work both ways. Keep an eye out for any changes in your spouse's sexual behavior and patterns.

Now that you have some things to look for, you should be better equipped to put your doubt to rest, or confirm your doubts are real. These are 7 of my top warning signs your spouse may be cheating. There are many more signs and just as many ways to uncover the truth. Feel free to come back to this article next time you wonder where your spouse is.
About the Author
Brandon Grittini is the founder of Relationship Solutions. Click Here to learn how to catch a cheating spouse.
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