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Prodigious Plumbing Tales - Brought To You By San Jose Plumbing

Aug 12, 2008
Almost everyone in the world has been subjected to untold tales about the mishaps, inconveniences, blunders, fiascos, and cussing-causing catastrophes of plumbing dilemmas.

Here's a few tales from our weird plumbing tales file. And if you find these things happening to you, grab the first San Jose plumbing specialist you see.

The Toilet

The toilet has unleashed the bowels of -- well, you know. The innocent, hard-working, and misunderstood toilet, commode, john, or the porcelain god, whatever you want to call it, is a huge source of distress when it fouls up.

More screams are heard from the horror of these potty predicaments than all others combined. It's a shame really. Most of the time, despite all human rushing, the toilet keeps on flushing. As soon as it falls on hard times, we forget about all the good works it has done.

It has service built into its name -- toil. It has one of the least desirable jobs on the planet. Maybe even the universe! Think about it. Though it has undeservedly earned a bad rap, the humble toilet rarely complains. It knows it is the most important utility in the modern world.

The Sink Pipes

The pipe under the sink sprung a leak about two weeks ago. It's grown into a category-five river ripe with rapids. We won't let the kids take their canoes on it anymore. The undertow is threatening to pull them under the house.

Kayakers, however, have begun showing day and night asking if they can shoot our wild new whitewater rapids, which we now call "Duncan's Dizzy Dash". We've decided to charge them a small fee that varies by what time they knock on our door.

Hopefully the money we collect will cover the costs of the extensive replacement we'll have to do to. If only we had noticed sooner. Okay, we noticed. Not only are we negligent in our plumbing responsibilities, we have been known to fib.

The Washer Hose

Whee! I'm free! Look at me spray and wiggle and soak everything in my path. Swashing the walls, the floors, the ceiling. The floors are pooling. Finally, I see the potential of what I can do. Yay! Oh, I mustn't forget to shower all those pretty bottles the people use so much. They are very dusty.

This is way more exciting than pumping water into that stupid washer. Mindless thing it is, that washer. Just churns back and forth, then spins like it's racing something making me squirt out a little water at a time. Oppressive, idiotic machine.

Uh oh, I hear the people coming. They'll nebulize me! They won't take my freedom away! No. I can't let them. I will fight with all my might when they open the door. Here they come. I must jet wildly, shoot into their faces, whip away from their despotic hands, and stay free!

The Real Story

When your plumbing goes awry, it does seem like they have their own agendas. The simple truth is that when you are aware of even the slightest problem, the sooner you act, the less devastating it will be.

Our good friend the trusty toilet is faithful, to be sure, but it is also delicate. Leaks in your pipes can quickly grow cataclysmic if they aren't stopped in time. The washer hoses must be checked frequently. The amount of strain a washer can put on its hose from all its churning and spinning can cause breaks and leaks that go undetected. Anything that connects water to your house has to be maintained.

Stay on top of your plumbing. Don't become a file entry in our weird and prodigious plumbing tales. Happy potability!
About the Author
For all your San Jose plumbing needs, let the reputation of AllStar Plumbing set things right. Priding ourselves in quality work, job dedication, personal attention, and no nonsense warranties, we'll guarantee that none of our tales will happen to you.

Art Gib is a freelance writer.
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