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How Guys "Screw Up" First Dates

Aug 17, 2007
Almost every average guy makes this mistake and makes this mistake on every first date. It's a mistake that's a deal killer, a mistake every woman notices which lumps you with all the other failed first dates she's ever had.

It's the fact that there's a fundamental key difference between the way women and men react when they meet a "potential mate." This difference is physiologically and psychologically based and NOT some unexplainable mystery.

The average Man may act this way:

"I'm so interested before the date that I'm unreasonably nervous. I'm already thinking of you as my next girlfriend or at least a one-night stand. I could fall in love with you."

While women usually act in a way that's characterized like this:

"You might be interesting. I'd like to get to know you a little better. Then we can see where this is headed."

In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when first meeting a guy but guys tend to act like every girl is their next girlfriend who just doesn't know it yet. This creates an unusually high level of tension and pressure.

And not the good kind of tension, either.

I'm talking about the kind that makes women feel very uncomfortable because the man is acting nervous, shaking, or even sweating nervously. Of course this never happens to you...right.

So what's the answer? How do you get over being uncomfortable or nervous around a woman, any woman who has the potential to show interest in you? Even a woman who looks like a model?

You don't do it. It's that simple.

Acting nervous and freakish while talking to a woman is probably going to screw things up before you've even had a chance to get started with her. Treating a woman that you've just met as if she's the love of your life or as if you're desperate and this is your first date in years is something you should NEVER, EVER do.

Instead, assume that every woman has something that's going to annoy you, bother you, or mess up her chances with you. That's right, *her* chances with *you*. Now why would you want to do this? The most obvious reason is because it's true.

Most women and men are not compatible "long term" with each other. If you get into a long-term relationship with a particular woman, the odds are she's going to have things about her that you don't like and you'll have things about you that she doesn't like.

So what does work? Treat her like an irritating little sister.

Instead of communicating "You're a potential wife" communicate, "I'm so comfortable around you that I can make fun of you without caring what you think of me."

Does this sound a little strange or crazy? It should because it's the opposite of everything you've done with women up to this point but it's a fundamental point you need to learn right now.

But trust me.

If you spend time having a normal conversation but being confident and funny, having fun, not trying to impress her, and showing you could care less how things turn out, you'll be far more likely to get a second date or more than if you act as if she might be the love of your life. Acting that way, you'll end wind up acting so nervous, desperate, and stupid that you'll never see her again.

Instead, lean back and be cool. Joke about her screwing up her chances with you. Turn the tables on her. Make her think you want nothing more than to be friends with her. Assume that she has qualities annoy you, then point them out but in a confident but funny way.

Only then will you experience authentic and real success with women.
About the Author
Jeff Baker failed for years with women until he learned the secrets every man should know. Secrets revealed on his website http://www.explodeyourdating.com
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