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The #1 Reason for Divorce is Lack of Communication

Aug 23, 2008
According to the American Counseling Association, the most common thread throughout all broken marriages is breakdown in communication. As Americans, our communication seems to fail with the most important person in our life, despite the fact that we, as a country, love to communicate. Our country's divorce rate is holding at 50% as a result. Add in being on your second or third marriage, and this rate increases.

lack of communication usually begins with the inability to discuss the smaller issues that arise. This soon creates anger and frustration build up, which ends in larger issues. Larger issues are not as easy to solve as smaller ones.

Using communication to work out your problems is key to a healthy relationship. Here are a few keys points to help you build communication with your spouse:

1. Truly listen to each other, while staying quiet and focused on what they are saying.

2. Listen to their words as well as emotions and underlying feelings.

3. Try to understand from another perspective, try to understand the other side of the argument. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to agree.

4. Rephrase what the other person is telling you, this will ensure a clear understanding.

5. when you let your partner know you are not only listening to their words, but feelings as well, you will validate their emotions.

6. Be aware of nonverbal messages you may send, such as tone of voice and facial expressions.

7. Use I statements to tell your partner what they are doing wrong and how you feel.

8. Let the person know ahead of time of your intention to discuss issues. This will allow them to gather their thoughts as well as appear less like an attack.

9. Set aside time to talk without interruptions from life or children.

10. Try to keep your discussion on topic.

Using these helpful tips will be the best steps toward communicating on a level that is more effective. This, in turn, can save your marriage.Keeping your discussions in the present, by avoiding rehashing the past is vital. You need to focus on solutions and work toward them together.
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