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Divorce - One of the BIG Decisions in Life

Aug 25, 2008
It is often said that buying a house or getting married are the major decisions in life. But the decision to divorce is an even bigger decision. This article considers some aspects of decision making in relation to divorce.

When we consider divorce, we soon realise that it never easy because it involves pain and distress for everyone associated with it. But there is another aspect, too. When couples marry, the idea of divorce is not even considered. However, as soon as we start to contemplate divorce, we have to accept that it is a huge change in our lives and such a change can be, for some, a reason not to proceed. After all, the decision to divorce goes against the hopes and dreams we once had. This for some people is an obstacle in itself, but there are many others to consider and some of these are discussed here.

In divorce, it is the children that one thinks of most of all. Parents never want to cause their children, especially very young ones, to be unhappy and suffer pain. However, parents often do not realise that children are well aware that the family is not the same as it was before. They can detect that their parents are not talking the way they once did. So, when the decision to tell the children that their parents intend to divorce, it is not always a shock to them. Sometimes, children who are very perceptive will say that they knew it was going to happen.

Divorce brings about changes in the home if one of the parents finds it necessary to leave. This of course changes what goes on in the home and for children they can experience distress because one of their parents is missing. It is therefore essential that arrangements are put in place for the absent parent to meet frequently with their children.

The family home is often the subject of major dispute when divorce is taking place. One way of looking at the family home is that in essence it is a house consisting of four walls and a roof, and made of bricks, blocks, wood, concrete and tiles. In itself such a building is nothing special. It is the people who reside there that turn the house into a home. Therefore, if the parents are unhappy in the house, then why fight over it. There are thousands of houses around that can be turned into wonderful family homes again. Share the financial value of the home, but move on as soon as possible as there is a lovely home somewhere waiting just for you.

Having mentioned the children and the family home, we need to look at those individuals that seek the divorce. Bringing a marriage to an end is stressful. Keeping in a marriage that is not working is stressful too. But why should you continue with all this pain? There is no point; it is a waste of energy.

In the past, you had beautiful moments of love, happiness, peace and joy. And what you should remember is that these emotions have not been eradicated from within you. Leading up to the decision to divorce and divorce itself, means that these emotions do not currently form part of your life, but they can be ignited again if you so choose.

Deciding on divorce for many people can be more of a problem than the actual divorce. At this decision making stage there are huge pressures in deciding whether or not you should proceed with it and this presents a lot of distress. There are always plenty of people such as lawyers, councilors and other professional individuals that can advise, but in the end the decision to divorce has to be left up to you.

Once the decision to divorce has been made by one party, and a lawyer has been appointed, there can be quite a sense of relief as the decision has finally been made and the rest is essentially a legal process that has to be gone through. Naturally, the process of divorce will have its own distresses. You need to realise that by going through this, you are indeed focusing on a new goal in your life that could bring you happiness and contentment again.

Nobody can tell you whether or not to divorce your partner or not. The decision to end a marriage through formal divorce proceedings is not easy whether you are the person bringing the divorce (the petitioner) or on the receiving end of a divorce (the respondent)

The decision to divorce is important and you have to ask yourself is it the right decision at this time. You would need to think carefully about the consequences of having a divorce right now, or postponing it until later. Taking advice is a wise thing to do, and it is sensible to write it all down rather than trying to remember every word given to you. When you have done this, like many people, you may find the decision to seek a divorce now, or to wait a while, is much simpler.
About the Author
Rita Willetts provides a range of resources at her web site: Apres Divorce where you will find information that will help you on many divorce issues. Why not take a look: http://www.apresdivorce.com
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