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How To Meet Great Women In Bars

Aug 27, 2008
Today I want to share with everyone a great question I got from someone in London. I'm sure all of you think about these same things when you go out at night too, so let's talk about this right now!

Client: I have two questions for you. You said that when you open someone in a bar, you want to ask the women for their opinion on something.

In the field in London, a lot of routine-based games use the opinion opener to open women. If you use the opinion opener and the girl has had many people open them with that previously wouldn't she think, oh boy, here we go again or might they not think of that at all?

Also another question: if you are conversing with a woman and you find yourself at a lull in the conversation without anything to say, could you go back to a previous thing she said earlier in the conversation to start a new conversation with her?

David: As for your e-mail, there are a lot of different opinion openers. The great thing about what I teach is that everything is not the same.

For instance, when I was in London last time, I was at the Sanderson Hotel, and I was working with a client of mine. This woman was staring at us, so I told my client to walk over and do this: walk right over to her and say, "hey, are you just going to stare at me all night and check me out, or are you going to come over here and talk to me?"

Do this, I told him, and do it with a big smile. Then all of a sudden she'll start laughing; she'll say something to excuse herself. Before she explains and babbles, you can look at her and ask, "do you have approach anxiety?"

Say, "I hear there are some great books on the Internet that'll help you overcome that!" Laugh. Say all this with a smile. She will inevitably start laughing really hard, and then you can tease her a little more.

Ask her, "are you shy?" And she will respond, "well, you know..." and then you can start talking about it a little bit. And you'll have things to talk about. It will be a fun game to do at night.

When you're at the bar at night, you need to make it fun. You need to make it interesting. You need to make it different. That's why I like day game much better than night game. Because night game, you need to play around a little bit more.

Another way to open up a woman in a bar at night is when she bumps into you. You can say to her, "excuse me." She will ask you, "what?" You can then say, "I need to know your name." And then she will respond, "my name is Amy."

"All right, Amy, I just need to know because if tomorrow I wake up all bruised from you bouncing into me all night, I need to be able to tell my buddy that I was in this bar last night and this girl Amy kept bumping into me all night. What, do you play rugby or something?"

So there you go - you're being fun, playful, and you're being DIFFERENT!

You basically walk up to a woman who has been hanging out with her friends. You have your buddy text you, but make sure his name is not in there. Have him text you this: "last night was great. Maybe another drink later tonight?"

And so you walk over to a woman and you say to her, "look, I just got this text, and I have absolutely no idea what it means. No idea. But before I show you the text on my phone, I need to give you a little bit of a back-story."

Keep going: "last night I went out with this woman for a drink. We had a glass of wine, hung out for an hour and a half, and that was it. I didn't think there was any chemistry, and I had no idea what she felt. I didn't even think much of anything about it, but I just got this text from her right now. What does it mean?"

So then they will pass your phone around, and they will start to laugh. They'll start to smile. One of them will say, "booty call!" You can then say, "aha, is that what you call a booty call?" And then you get the conversation rolling from there.

There are just a few of new tips for you.

Now, if the conversation starts to get slow, what you have to realize in your mind is that not everyone you talk to you will be able to connect with. The problem with men is that they think that just because they have the guts to approach a woman, every conversation has to work out. Some conversations just don't work out.

Think about in terms of soccer. The guy has an open shot, right? A penalty shot. He takes ten penalty shots. Does he make every penalty shot? Absolutely not. If the odds were ten for ten, there would be no such thing as a hard penalty shot or an easy penalty shot, right?

So, sometimes the conversation just dies. You have no chemistry with her at all, so it doesn't matter. If you follow the things that I teach - meaning you listen very carefully to what she is saying - you will be able to tell.

You should use portal words, which means that if she says, "oh this weekend is so fantastic, it's my grandmother's birthday," you can ask, "really, how old will your grandmother be?" She might respond, "my grandmother will be 92." You can then look at her and say, "congratulations, what's her secret?"

If you listen very carefully to what a woman says, and you transition using the emotional portal words that I talk about, you will become a much better conversationalist in the long run.

Don't ever worry about what other people have done going out. Most people are not going out using the things that I have used.
About the Author
Hailed on Fox News, The LA Times, The NY Times, Playboy and more... Legendary Dating Coach Launches a New Revolution For over nearly 20 years David Wygant has been earning the trust of American men and women looking to transform their love lives. (http://www.davidwygant.com)
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