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How To Tell Someone You're Not Interested

Aug 28, 2008
Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can also present some really uncomfortable situations. One of the worst situations to be in is to have someone pursue you that you really do not like in a romantic way. While this can be flattering in the beginning, it can also mean that you have to try to let someone down easy later on down the road. This can be tough, especially if this is someone that you have to work with or see in your social circle.

Letting Them Down Easy

Rejection is not something that anyone is comfortable, whether you are on the receiving or the giving end. When you realize that you are just not that into someone one of the best things you can do is to tell them right then and there.

You don't have to be rude or embarrass the person anymore than they will be, but just be honest about it. Many of us try to ignore the situation or we end up sending mixed messages so we don't hurt their feelings. While no one likes to hurt someone else's feelings, it is better to cut these situations off as soon as they begin.

If you have been out on a date with someone a few times and you just aren't getting those warm and fuzzy feelings that come with the chemistry between two people, you should address this immediately. The best way to address this topic is just to do it when a date is getting over or when they call about going out again.

Just tell the person in the nicest way possible that you have enjoyed getting to know them, but that you just don't see the relationship going anywhere. You can be respectful and friendly, but be very straight forward about it so as to leave no room for interpretation.

If someone keeps pursuing you even after you have told them that you are not interested in dating them any longer, try putting it in writing. When you write down the way you feel and email the person or send them a letter they may see the writing on the wall. A lot of people will take the spoken language and twist it to fit their needs. Don't allow this to happen to you, in any way that you can be sure to share the way you feel to get it across to the other person.

Letting other people down is not easy, it will never be comfortable, but sometimes it is necessary. Instead of prolonging the issue, be upfront about it as soon as the issue arises.

Be prepared for the fact that the person will be angry or hurt, as these are normal emotions to surface when you are rejected. Just remember to be as kind as caring, while being straightforward, as we possibly can be.
About the Author
Rodrigo Rehn is a Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating services.
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