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How to Find the Wrong Plastic Surgeon

Aug 28, 2008
Sure, everyone wonders what they'd look like if they were perfect. However, some people, in their quest for perfection, end up looking perfectly wrong. You're someone who's looking to fix something about your appearance, and you had better sure that you don't make the same mistake twice.

Specifically, you need a plastic surgeon who will fix what a previous plastic surgeon did wrong. You admit, you were na´ve in those days, but you will never, ever admit that you were stupid. It all started a couple of years ago, when you decided you wanted a facelift.

Yes, you're old, and you don't need anyone to remind you of that all-too-blatant fact, thank you very much. Your first plastic surgeon reminded you all too often, and it sure didn't help. Your grandchildren think that you live in the Dark Ages because you don't own a computer. Well, why should you, when you can use the one at the library for free?

Well, on the day that you planned on doing some research about local, reputable surgeons, the library was closed for repairs. So, you had to resort to the next best thing - the phone book. As you were looking through the ended amounts of plastic surgeon listings, you wondered how you'd ever find the right one. That was until you found a large, neon (yes, really - the guy must have known someone) advertisement that obviously caught your eye, and nearly blinded it too.

The advertisement promised to turn back the clock at least forty, if not fifty, years. This was definitely intriguing - after all, the man was promising to do what you had only ever dreamed of! But it wasn't just that, it was the picture of the surgeon that made you immediately sign up for a consultation.

Honestly, the man was beyond handsome. He really should have been a model or an actor (in hindsight, you think he would have been better at either one of those). You called his number, made an appointment for a consultation, and counted down the days until his hands would be on you.

Oh, and what a consultation it was - you hadn't had such a handsome guy put his hands on you since high school (who's kidding anyone, your husband lost any looks he had ages ago). Of course, Dr. Handsome promised he could make you look however you wanted to look, and you couldn't help but wonder if there was a time capsule parked somewhere.

On the day of your surgery, you envisioned yourself waking up looking sixteen again. Well, the only part of that dream that came true was that you did, in fact, wake up. You wondered why on earth your head was ten times larger than it used to be. The surgeon said it was just swelling.

You blindly followed all of his advice, including doing at least 10 jumping jacks a day. You were too trusting, you realize that now. You realized it then, too, when the bandages were unwrapped and you looked like a Lego character.
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