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The Problem Of Infidelity

Aug 28, 2008
There is a lot to consider if you believe your spouse or significant other is being unfaithful. Infidelity brings up a lot of strong emotions, and may change your relationship permanently. It is key that careful reasoning and sound judgement guide your decision-making as you decide how to best act on your suspicions.

Counseling, whether for yourself or for you as a couple, can help work through issues related to your marriage. You may decide that the infidelity mandates the end of your relationship with your spouse. Alternatively, you may choose to continue working on reforging your relationship and improving it. A counselor can help you both in guiding your decision and, if appropriate, rebuilding your relationship.

If you're working things out with your spouse, you may need marriage counseling to guide the two of you in the process. Very few people are unfaithful unless there are already existing problems in their life. Therefore, these will be the issues that will need to be addressed in counseling. The effects of infidelity on marriages will also be a large topic of discussion in counseling.

Since marriage counseling may be helpful even when infidelity has not occurred, it may be worth considering if you have not found definitive proof. Accusations of infidelity, particularly if unfounded, can have negative consequences on a relationship, so they should be made only with the utmost care. There are some indicators which, if present, should make you more suspicious.

If your spouse is spending a lot of time away from home that he or she didn't use to spend, it could be one sign of infidelity. Also, if he or she seeks intimacy considerably less, or in some cases considerably more than what is normal for them, this could be a sign of infidelity.

Suspicious behavior might also include spending time with new friends without extending an invitation to you. An extreme example of this might be regular calls from a member of the opposite sex or an increased frequency of hangups when you answer the phone at home.

The other side of infidelity is if you are considering being unfaithful yourself. Interest in romantic or sexual relationships outside of your marriage might be cause to evaluate problems which may have arisen in your marriage. Communication, perhaps facilitated by a marriage counselor, is a good way to head off these problems before they progress further. Infidelity is, in many cases, a point of no return in that it permanently damages or destroys the relationship.

The best thing to do in a situation of infidelity in a marriage is to carefully consider all of your options before making any decisions. If you are the betrayed spouse, you will most likely be very angry and will definitely be very hurt. Make sure that your actions are taken with thought and not based solely on your initial emotions.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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