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Dating Again After Divorce

Aug 29, 2008
Even if you know that your marriage is over, divorce is a very difficult thing to go through. You may feel a wide range of emotions ranging from anger to sadness, irritation, elation, and more. You should explore these feelings and really allow yourself to examine them all.

When you do this you will find that you are tying up all of the lose ends and putting an end to all of your unfinished business with your ex spouse. Only when you explore all of these feelings should you begin to think about dating again.

Preparing to Date Again

When you are feeling like you might be ready to date you should prepare yourself. Depending how long you have been married the dating scene may have changed a bit and you should be prepared for the changes. Talk to your single friends, read up on dating today, and just gather as much information as you can so you know what to expect.

When you know what to expect you should consider what you are expecting or what your needs are. We all have very individual needs and you need to define what yours are. Do you want a fun simple relationship with little or no commitment? Do you want a relationship that is serious and committed? You need to define what your needs are before you start meeting people so you don't lead anyone on or get disappointed without even knowing why you are disappointed.

Next you should confront any negative self talk that you have going on. We have a tendency to talk negatively to ourselves, always anticipating the worst, even telling ourselves that we are not worthy of a healthy relationship. You need to respond to these negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This may take work, but when you confront the negativity head on you will be a lot more positive person and embarking on a new life that involves dating will be a lot easier.

You need to work on feeling confident. Many people have really low self esteem after a divorce. Remember that your divorce and the mistakes in your marriage need not define you now. You should make sure that you feel good and look good. Get a haircut, get some new clothes, and put a smile on your face. When you do this you may easily boost your self esteem, feeling better than you have in years!

After you have done all of this you will likely feel ready to date. Take things slow, starting out with more casual dating and then move toward relationships again, if you would like. Do not go out looking for a replacement for your ex, this is not becoming and it will likely not go very well! No one wants to be a replacement, so seek out people who make you happy!
About the Author
Rodrigo Rehn is a Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating services.
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