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When To Get Intimate

Aug 29, 2008
If you listen to your friends or if you try to follow the rules of dating you may get mixed messages on when it is okay to get intimate when you start dating someone new. The bottom line is that no one or no book or set of guidelines can help you decide when you should become intimate with another person.

This is basically personal preference and is something that you will need to feel out with each new person that you date. You may find that when you are comfortable getting closer to the person physically varies from person to person.

When to Hit the Sheets

If you ask your mother she will probably tell you that you should wait until you get married and if you ask one friend she'll say six months, and if you ask yet another she may say the first week. So, when do you decide to sleep with someone? It can all be a little overwhelming with all of this information coming in. What you need to do is block out what everyone else is telling you and tap into how you are feeling.

You may feel very sexually attracted to someone but a good rule of thumb is that you should not sleep with someone until you are comfortable talking to them about sex and sexuality. If you cannot talk about it with them because it is uncomfortable, should you really be doing it? Probably not! When you stick to this rule of thumb suddenly you will find your comfort zone and you will know that you are ready or not.

Not only will you need to consider when you are ready, you need to consider when the person that you are dating is ready. You may not hit this mark at the same time, so the idea is to be patient. If you are ready before they are, try not to pressure them as this is a very personal thing and do you really want to be sleeping with someone who is not sure that they want to sleep with you?

If you are not ready and the other person is, don't give into pressure tactics. It can be very tempting just to have sex to appease the other person, but this is not the way it is supposed to work. You need to move at your own pace and if the person you are dating is not respectful of this, it is a good indication that they are not trustworthy or respectful of you and your needs, and it would be best to refrain from becoming any more intimate with them than you already have.
About the Author
Rodrigo Rehn is a Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating services.
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