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My Heart Says "Yes" But My Instincts Say "No"

Sep 1, 2008
Whether you have found a new love interest or are considering marriage, it can be a challenge determining if your current relationship is ready for a major commitment. Many times, we feel ready for a serious relationship and to make that romantic connection. But, there are also many times, despite what we want and hope for in a relationship, that our instincts are telling us something to the contrary; he is not the right one.

Instead of fighting your instincts, let's explore what your intuition may be telling you and why you should embrace what you may not fully understand.

First, your instincts may be telling you that though on the surface he may meet all your criteria, there is something missing. Sometimes we may not be able to put our finger on it, but our intuition is there to let us know of things that we cannot see or otherwise understand. In these situations, it is important to rely on your gut and trust that any feelings of uncertainty, uneasiness, or doubt signal that there is indeed something missing in the relationship.

Though there are times when we do recognize what the relationship is lacking, the desire to make that romantic connection can be overpowering. You may weigh the pros and cons or overlook some less-than-desirable qualities and rationalize that are other traits that outweigh the negative. But if feelings of uncertainty or uneasiness still exist, your instincts are telling you, if not confirming, that those qualities (or lack thereof) should not be put aside.

Second, your instincts may be telling you that there is someone else out there. Someone more compatible and who will make you happier.

Often times when we sense that "he is not the right one" it because there is someone else out there who is. This should be something to be excited about! Just think, if this relationship makes you happy and you still have reservations about it, then how much happier and wonderful you will feel when you do find the right one! Embrace your instincts. They are telling you there is someone better for you -- and "better" is something to look forward to!

Lastly, if your instincts are telling you that the relationship is not right, it may be because there is something about him. Maybe he is not trustworthy, honest, or all that meets the eye. If there are things about him that are unsettling or suspicious, your instincts can give you the first indication that something is wrong. Or, once again, they may be confirming what you are already beginning to suspect.

Don't take a chance on a relationship you are unsure about. Listen to your instincts. Remember, if you are feeling unsettled there can be several reasons why your intuition is telling you that he is not the one. Whatever the reason, it is important to listen. Your instincts are a very reliable friend. This natural warning system can be the difference between long-term happiness and potential heartache. The truth may reveal itself years in the future, but the fact remains, listen to your heart and follow your instincts!
About the Author
Kim Wiederholt is the author of "Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk." To learn more about Kim, her work, or to join her email list, visit Café Gab . To view her blog, visit Author Kim Wiederholt.
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