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A Blissful Romance: Full of Compliments and Complements

Sep 1, 2008
Blissful relationships are a combination of loving expressions and compatibility. If you are going to give your heart to someone then they should, in turn, treat you with love and respect; both in action and word. Of course, relationships are also a matter of compatibility. A relationship is only promising if your companion is loving and your personalities are well matched. He must always be uplifting and constructive towards you and together, you strengthen one another. In essence a blissful romance is full of compliments and complements.

Compliments are a necessity in a healthy relationship. If the relationship is not healthy then you will be unhappy. It is human nature to need compliments. They are uplifting, reassuring, gratifying -- they make us feel good! At the very least, the one person who should help you to feel all these things is the one you share your heart with. He should be someone who is considerate and thoughtful, not hurtful and mindless. If he cannot be respectful and sensitive in words, then he is likely to be inconsiderate in his actions too. The lack of both would leave us feeling miserable and lonely. A blissful relationship does not come from being unappreciated. It comes from being treated with high regard. This is one dynamic of a blissful relationship.

Another critical dynamic of a happy relationship is one that is complementary. A complementary relationship relates to the compatibility of your personalities. Two complementary personalities balance one another. If a relationship is going to be lasting, then you both need to strengthen one another's strengths but also strengthen each other against your weaknesses.

To strengthen each other in your strengths means you should share those characteristics that are the major role players in your life: attributes that define who you are. Why are these strengths? Anything that defines who you are is your life's backbone and motivation. If qualities that define you are not shared by your significant other, then who will be there to support you in those strengths/qualities? You do not want to clash in matters that are the cornerstone of who you are. Thus, a complementary relationship is partly defined by the strengthening of each other's strengths.

The other half of a complementary relationship is strengthening each other against your weaknesses. No one is perfect. But, you also do not share the same weaknesses. If so, the result is one in which you both could succumb to the same pitfalls together. A healthy relationship is not one in which you share the same vulnerabilities or bad habits. Rather, it is having someone by your side, and he vice versa, that is supportive, encouraging, and helpful in overcoming those weaknesses. Ideally, someone who is able to provide such support is one who counteracts any such weakness because that is their strength.

Think of a complementary relationship in this way... compare a relationship to a team, group, or partnership that is successful. It begins with a strong base -- each member of the successful partnership excels at what they individually do. But what also contributes to their success is that each member also excels at what the other(s) do not. What each member brings to the table is their individual strength both to complete it and support it. If all the members only shared the same strengths, there would still leave vulnerabilities. On the other hand, if they only shared the same vulnerabilities then where would the strengths stem from?

Strong romantic relationships are structured in the same manner. Your strong base begins with sharing your strengths (the critical aspects of your character) completed by bringing to the relationship what the other lacks (minor, less critical traits of one's character) that are not defining. This is what constitutes a complementary relationship.

Remember, your blissful romance includes two major components; expressions of love and the compatibility of your personalities. One without the other would leave the relationship void of a critical piece. Bliss is created through feeling loved and appreciated, complete and strengthened. It is a matter of both external expressions and fulfillment within. A blissful romance is full of compliments and complements.
About the Author
Kim Wiederholt is the author of "Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk." To learn more about Kim, her work, or to join her email list, visit Café Gab . To view her blog, visit Author Kim Wiederholt.
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