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Holding on to Him

Sep 2, 2008
Ever wondered why you keep on falling in and out of love frequently? You would think that there must be something wrong with you. If your relationships go through the same pattern every time meaning it starts out good then slowly loses steam especially if you start talking about going into a more serious stage in the relation, then take stock.

It would be so easy for you to point to the man as the guilty party but if this happens all the time you better look at yourself and ask if there is something wrong with you as well. You may think that you always attract the wrong kind, but you have to admit that you might have date some good men too but for some reason the relationship ceased growing when you shared some of your thoughts and feelings with him.

Try to look back. Did you correct him frequently for every little wrong thing he has done? Did you try to do things that would "convince" him to love you more? Of course you thought, as with many women, that these things would make him a better man at the end of the day. The bad news is that if you think that way, you would only alienate him more by making him thing that there must be something wrong with him. When he thinks that way, he will start pulling back from the relationship.

Faced with this scenario, what do you usually do? Go overtime and win him back? Or complain endlessly about how he can't take corrections? Whichever way you choose, those two options will just makes things worse. In this case, withdrawing does not mean he doesn't love you anymore. He withdraws because that is how he copes up when faced with a situation like this. The more you complain, the more he will think that having a relationship with you is not worth it.

Women tend to commit common mistakes that can definitely drive their man away. Can you find ways of holding on to him?

Definitely yes! In not so many words, you have to understand how your man thinks. Of course you know that you and your man do not think the same way. You may not be aware how differently you think but you do. By understanding how he thinks, you can plan your actions in a way that will be in sync with his.

For example, every single man has his own way of enjoying himself. He may want to spend time with his friends, or tinker with whatever hobby he has or it could be his drive towards a successful career. Whatever that may be, don't forget that he shouldn't give up all these things just because you entered into his life. If you make him choose between you and the things he love doing, you may end up on the losing end.

Ultimately, teach yourself to understand how he thinks without forming your own conclusions and biases. Believe me, when you do understand him, it would be easier for you to hold on to him because he would be the one drawing closer to you.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.

Find out how to get him passionate about you again.
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