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When To Introduce Your Kids To A New Friend

Sep 5, 2008
Dating with kids can be very difficult. Not only do you need to find the date, you need to make sure that the person that you are dating is okay with you having children. It can be difficult to find this person and even if you do find someone who is comfortable with you having a children you need to then consider when you will allow your children to meet the person. How you deal with it is up to you, but you do need to give this some thought before you proceed.

For the sake of your children, you should not introduce them to everyone that you date. In fact, you needn't even tell your children that you are going out on a date, you can just let them know that you are going out. The reason for this is that you don't want your children to see you get excited for a date and then come home disappointed because then they will learn to feel anxious about you going out and dating, and they don't need to feel this way.

Not only do you need to think about the comfort of your children, you need to wait to introduce your date to them until you are sure that your date is comfortable with the idea. Allow the person that you are seeing to get to know you first, and then allow them to work up to wanting to meet your kids. As you get to know someone better you will get a feel for whether or not they are interested in having a relationship, if they aren't, why bother having your kids meet them?

Only when you are sure that the person is going to be in your life for awhile should you introduce them. Even then, you should start out slow and simply have them accompany you and your children somewhere that your children like to go.

Don't make it a big deal, just have them be a presence and don't require that your children interact with the person that you are seeing more than they are comfortable. When you allow things to take their natural course they tend to work out much better for everyone.

You need to talk to the person you are seeing as well as your children constantly. If you feel as though the person you are seeing is not serious you shouldn't introduce them to your children and until you are certain what direction the relationship is going in, you should not allow for your children to become attached to them.

The worst thing you can do is allow your children to become prematurely attached to someone who will then walk out on them and you when things get tough, and this isn't fair to do to your children. If in doubt, hold off until there is little or no doubt.
About the Author
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance dating services.
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