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What to Do When Your Spouse Takes You for Granted

Sep 8, 2008
When you're dating someone, it seems like they have a great knack for making you feel appreciated, loved and placed upon a pedestal. However, as daily lives take over and we have to worry about finances, careers, children and the household, that pedestal seems to get lower and lower. If you're being taken advantage of by your spouse, there are several things you can do to get the point across that you're not happy with it. Here are some tips on what to do when your spouse takes you for granted.

Talk to Your Spouse about How You Are Feeling

The first thing you should do is talk to your spouse about how he or she is making you feel. Rather than accusing them of taking you for granted and attacking them, simply state the way you feel. Use words like I feel rather than You do. For instance, I feel like Im being taken advantage of, rather than, You always expect me to do this or that. This is a great way to let your spouse know how youre feeling without making them get defensive. Calmly and assertively tell them the way youre feeling and you will see that it works much better than becoming angry and shouting or attacking them.

Dont Allow It to Continue

If your spouse continues to take you for granted, dont allow it to happen. For instance, perhaps your spouse comes home, throws his or her dirty clothes on the floor, asks you whats for dinner and all without a friendly kiss stop it right there. You can simply tell your spouse that youre busy and would he or she mind fixing dinner or innocently tell them that you didnt know you were supposed to take care of dinner. Leave the dirty clothes right there on the floor. When you pick them up, cook dinner and continue to be taken for granted nothing will change. Put a stop to it now so that its not expected.

When Nothing Works

When you are constantly being taken for granted and youve tried discussing it with your spouse, there may be nothing left to do but lay it out flat. If you cant stick up for yourself, you will constantly be taken for granted? If its gotten to the point where you just cant stand much more, tell your spouse that youve had enough. Point out that youve tried to let him or her know how you feel and that nothing has changed. Then, you may suggest counseling or marital therapy. This way, they know that something has to be done or they may actually lose you. Thats a way to wake them up!

When you follow the tips and tricks in this article, you can stop being taken for granted and start being treated like a real person.
About the Author
Dani Taylor is one of the most active members of the divorce support community at Xstilla.com. He is also the editor of the Children & Divorce section and the author of many articles that help people find their way through complicated cases of divorce and child support issues.
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