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What To Do When You Are Dating A Liar

Sep 8, 2008
We all lie. It is a fact of life that people lie to protect themselves, and often to protect other people. The difference with some people is that they lie about big things, more than the "little white lie" that really will not hurt anyone.

If you have discovered that you are dating a liar, perhaps even a serial liar, you may be confused as to what you should do next. It can be heartbreaking when you learn that the person that you love and have invested a lot of time in has been lying to you.

Lies, Lies, and More Lies

One lie is often something that most of us can move past. We'll be upset for awhile and then usually we can look the other way and rebuild that trust. It is when we are repeatedly lied to that it can become difficult to move past it or even continue a relationship with the person who has been lying to us.

If you know that you have been lied to, the first thing you need to do is confront the person. Ask them for the truth and if they still refuse to give you the truth, present them with the evidence that proves otherwise. Then tell them that you need to hear the truth from them. Many liars will become angry at this point, and this is just a defense mechanism.

If you cannot get the truth from them you really need to think about whether you want to be in a relationship with this person. Someone who cannot admit to the truth even when it is in their face is someone that is very hard to trust. How can you have a relationship with someone that you cannot trust?

If the person does admit to their lie, than you may have something to work with. Let them know that you cannot be in a relationship with a liar and that you need them to be honest with you in the future. Tell them that you would rather know the truth than to be lied to, because when they lie you feel as though you are being disrespected and that you don't feel valued.

If you are dealing with someone who really cares about you, this will allow them to see the err of their ways and hopefully they will not repeat the lying again in the future.

Dating someone who has lied to you is very difficult. After you have been lied to, especially about an important matter, you will need time to build trust again. Many people find that they are never able to build that trust again after being lied to, and at this point it would be advisable to either seek counseling or break off the relationship entirely. Relationships are built on trust, and when you don't have trust you don't have a relationship that is worth staying in.
About the Author
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance dating services.
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