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Putting Your Controlling Ex Spouse in His or Her Place

Sep 13, 2008
When you have to deal with a controlling spouse, it's difficult enough. Many people become so upset and stressed out from this that they seek a divorce. When you have to deal with your controlling ex spouse, things can become even worse. Divorce is supposed to free you from having to put up with this kind of thing but sometimes it doesn't. This article discusses putting your controlling ex spouse in his or her place.

Stand Your Ground

Your ex spouse will continue to be controlling as long as he or she thinks they can get away with it. For this reason, it's important that you don't take it. Don't allow them to tell you what to do, when to do it or how to do it. You are in control of yourself now and you are the only one who you should have to answer to. When you allow your ex spouse to control you, you only enable him or her to do it more. If they tell you to do something or not to do something, thank them for their advice and do as you please.

Get Away from Your Ex Spouse

Although it's not that easy to get away from your ex spouse if the two of you have children, you can limit the time you're around each other as much as possible. When you drop the children off or pick them up, meet in a neutral location. Arrive on time and not early so you don't have to be around your ex spouse for very long. Also, if he or she calls - unless it's directly related to the children or something else important, there's no need to stay on the phone with them. Let them know that you're busy and hang up. You are not obligated to be around him or her so don't be. This will help stop them from being so controlling.

When All Else Fails

If nothing else will work, you may need to seek help. You can get a restraining order by visiting your local criminal court clerk or police station. They will advise you on the best way to go about getting help. You may also want to consider therapy to deal with the remaining issues you may have from being in a controlling relationship. This will help you to move on with your life in a healthy, happy manner.

By following the tips and suggestions in this article, you can effectively deal with your controlling ex spouse. The divorce was difficult but now it's time for you to be your own person. Good luck.
About the Author
Dani Taylor is one of the most active members of the divorce support community at Xstilla.com. She is also the editor of the Children & Divorce section and the author of many articles that help people find their way through complicated cases of divorce and child support issues.
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