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What is Standing Between You and Your Prince Charming? Your Current Boyfriend!

Sep 13, 2008
For women, Prince Charming is more than a fantastical figure. Prince Charming is a description of what our ideals are of a man of strong character. So when it comes to romance, the problem is not that we don't know what we want but rather recognizing the significance of letting go of someone who does not satisfy those ideals. When we find ourselves romantically involved with anything less than our hopes and expectations, what is standing between us and our Prince Charming is the current boyfriend.

Listening to our thoughts and feelings helps us to recognize when our current boyfriend is below par and thus standing in the way. Our thoughts and feelings are our personal red flags. Whenever we think or feel any of the following, these are our first signs that we have not met our ideal man: First, do we find ourselves disliking something about his character? Second, does he leave something to be desired? And third, do we question if he is the right one?

All of these indicate that there are concerns of inadequacy and doubt that exist in our relationship. Doubt and concern signify that we want something more and if we want something more there is no reason why we should not go out and get it.

First, a major red flag in any relationship is feelings of dislike. Any matter of disliking any particular trait is reason enough for concern. We are not speaking of concerns with petty things, but of those dislikes related to a person's character. If we dislike a specific feature about a man and that feature is indicative of his nature, behavior, or habits, then our sentiments should not be put aside. Most especially, we should not overlook what we dislike by rationalizing it with those things that what we do like.

It is what it is. The best thing we can do for ourselves is listening to our hearts--equally: the good and the bad.

Second, our "significant other" may leave something to be desired. In addition to disliking specific qualities about him, we may also wish our romantic partner held certain qualities. Any thought that our romantic partner is lacking something means that there are qualities about him that we wish he possessed.

For example, we may think to ourselves "I wish he was more like...." or He does not ..." These thoughts indicate some apprehension on our part. If we accept anything less than what we want and hope for, then we are "settling." We should not force ourselves to be content with someone that lacks a quality that is important to us. Any attribute that is important to you is an attribute that would ultimately make you happier short and long-term. The fact that you can name any one characteristic is enough evidence that the lack of this trait has relevance to you. Do not settle for someone who does not possess all the qualities that are significant to you.

Lastly, if we are in a relationship and we ask ourselves, "Is he is the right one, to determine if he is, then our answer is in the question. When we have met someone that we are absolutely in love with we should not have to ask, we should already know. Whether we ask this question to ourselves or discuss it with others, that mere fact the question is asked signifies there is some uncertainty or doubt about the answer. In other words, the question speaks for itself. If you have to ask then the answer is no. No discussion or list can compensate for that in which your heart does not feel. You will know when you have met the right one.

Through all the challenges of finding our Prince Charming it is critical that we never stop short in our search. Why? Because we know what qualities are important to us in a man's character and our romantic lives. We should never settle or excuse characteristics that would cause us to feel unhappy and unfulfilled. Otherwise, what is standing between you and your Prince Charming may very well be your current boyfriend!
About the Author
Kim Wiederholt is the author of "Dating a Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk." To learn more about Kim, her work, or to join her email list, visit Café Gab . To view her blog, visit Author Kim Wiederholt.
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